LIFE’S HIGHWAY # 1

 

No matter which road I decide to travel along

Road works have got there before me it seems

I think it’s part of a new government initiative

“The dig up the roads to cause congestion scheme”

WOW YOU SMELL GREAT!

 

“Wow you smell great! what do you have on”?

The young woman asked in her opening gambit

“Well honey” He replied “I actually have a hard on

But I had no idea at all that you could smell it”

PHYSICS QUESTIONS

 

Physicists pose important questions

Beneath the Swiss mountain slopes

With their large Hadron collider

And when for the answers they grope

Is the tool that measures their success

Going to be called a collider scope?

TODAY I SAW TWO BANKERS

 

Today I saw two bankers

Two pin stripe suited wankers

I watched from where I was sitting

As they walked into a building

However, what’s puzzling me a bit

Is why didn’t one of the see it

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 29

 

Little Boy Blue

Come blow your horn,

And I’ll make you a superstar

In the world of porn

PUT DOWN # 28

 

Put downs work the best

For deflecting unwanted attention

But try to be amusing

As this relieves the tension

If he uses the line

“Have you heard we’ve been brought together by cupid”

So just reply to him

“I like you; you remind me of when I was young and stupid.”

THE NINE MUSES OF THE ARTS – EUTERPE (MUSE OF LYRICAL POETRY)

 

The nine muses

Daughters of Zeus

Inspiring of mortals

And nurturers of the arts

The fourth was,

The divine Euterpe,

Rejoicing well,

Was firstly the muse of music

Then of Lyrical poetry

A double flute in her hand

Euterpe the Giver of delight