ROAD HOGS

 

Some drivers are so selfish

And some are arrogant with it

It seems that when they buy a car

They think the road comes with it

BEACH ETIQUETTE

 

A naked man sunbathing at the beach

In order to preserve his dignity

And protect it from the sun

Placed his hat over his thingamy

 

A passing woman smiled and said

“A gentleman would lift his hat for a lady”

He replied “If you get your kit off

Madam it will raise itself, maybe”

DEFYING GRAVITY # 1

 

With such widespread use of breast implants

There will surely come a time in the next 50 years

When there will be a large octogenarian population

Of confused and befuddled perky breasted grandmas

LUVVAGE

 

My pencil case is in love

But not with a pencil

But with two schoolbags

It must be bi-satchel.

KEEN TO BE GREEN

 

Local authorities’ love recycling

It’s a green policy and its one that wins

They want to reduce the carbon footprint

Of the electorate, for their sins

But if they were truly serious

They’d stop making so many recycling bins

FIGHTING TALK

 

“You’re fighting for a just cause”

That is the justification

“You’ll make the world a safer place”

“You’ll protect your nation”

 

These are the politician’s words

Spoken with passion and pride

Spoken away from the line of fire

Spoken from where warmongers hide

 

Men of empty rhetoric

These politicians never see danger

Safe on their leather seats

They never hear shots fired in anger

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 27

 

Itsy Bitsy spider climbing up the spout

Where all the chemical waste comes out

Now Itsy Bitsy spider isn’t quite the same

And can no longer get in the spout again