GETTING ON IN YOUR CAREER

 

After many years I am forced to conclude

It will almost certainly be your attitude

In the workplace and not your aptitude

That will determine your ultimate altitude

SIR LANCELOT A’BOILS

 

Sir Lancelot A’Boils

On the battlefield

Gave great service to his King

And never thought to yield

 

Sir Lancelot A’Boils

At the court of his King

Gave great service to his Queen

And Arthur didn’t do a thing

 

Sir Lancelot A’Boils

At the court unseen

Gave great service to his King

As King Arthur was a queen

 

Sir Lancelot A’Boils

Camelot’s love machine

Gave great service to the court

To peasant and King and all in between

 

Sir Lancelot A’Boils

Did eventually exceed

Having given a lifetime of service

He died when he tried to shag his steed

THE LEGEND OF THE SILENT POOL

 

The amorous King John

Took by ungentlemanly force

The woodcutter’s daughter

And put her upon his horse

He took her from Albury village

To a place called the silent pool

The girl scared and crying

Prayed the Kings ardour had cooled

He pressed his intent upon her

So, into the dark lake she fled

From his horse he drove her ever deeper

Until the poor girl was dead

Now on the silent pool at midnight

The maiden can be seen there

Where the amorous King John

Did drown the life from her

NEVER A BORROWER NOR A LENDER BE

 

Never a borrower nor a lender be

That is my simple philosophy

But if the need you can’t resist

Borrow money from a pessimist

A positive attitude they sadly lack

So, they don’t really expect it back

LOVE OF THE SEA

 

Oh, my love how you remind me of the sea

Not for being amazing, powerful, and dramatic

No, you remind me of the sea my darling

Because when I’m close to you I feel sick

NOT FADE AWAY

 

Big man

Strong man

Barrel chested

Smiling faced

Hearty man

Where have you gone?

I watched you get into that bed

A few short weeks ago

But you have disappeared

And I don’t know when you went

 

Your laughter was first to go

That fruity chuckle

That warmed and cheered

Fell silent first

Then your conversation

Once a source of knowledge

Wisdom and sardonic wit

Dried up like a drought-stricken lake

Your sentences grew shorter

Disjointed and inarticulate

Until they were no more

 

Then you began to fade

Like a picture going out of focus

When you opened your eyes

And I looked in them

I saw no one looking back

The spark had gone

You had gone

When had you gone?

We didn’t say goodbye

 

As I looked at the withering shell

In its unconscious state

I heard the groans, as the pain cut deep

Through the morphine

In the slow agonizing transition

From man to corpse

I cannot pick the moment

At which you were no more

But it was days before rather than hours

When the essential you left

When that which made you, you, was no more

I hoped you were not in there

Suffering

Dying by inches

God, I hoped not

 

What savages we are

To inflict this end on a human being

We would not do it to our favourite pet

We would not treat a dog like this

Yet I let it happen to this man

What indignity

What inhumanity

What kind of son am I?

 

I will not go this way

I will not fade away

I will not vanish

Before my loved one’s eyes

I will say my goodbyes

I will smile before I go

I will go on my terms

I will go by my own hand

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 20

 

Twinkle, twinkle little star,

How I wonder what you are?

Are you a star twinkling bright?

Or just another bloody satellite