Congratulations and felicitations
But don’t drink too
much at the celebration
As you may think you
can sit chatting
With the opposite sex without spitting
Tuesday, 8 February 2022
HAPPY BIRTHDAY # 9
PUT DOWN # 12
Put downs work the best
For deflecting
unwanted attention
But try to be amusing
As this relieves the
tension
“Your face must turn a
few heads”
May be one of his
attacks
So just reply to him
LITERARY DOCTORATE
“Oh doctor, doctor
You must help me
I have been afflicted
Most horribly
I keep quoting
William Topaz
McGonagall”
The Doc replied
“We can’t help you at
all”
“Oh, doctor why
Can’t you treat me for
it”?
He replied
“Because this is the
burns unit”
OUT IN THE COUNTRY, AGAIN
When driving the byways
Travelling far and wide
Whether the lakes or the peaks
Or any of the countryside,
One thing that’s guaranteed
To frustrate the driving clan
And cause them to become irate
Is to get stuck behind a caravan
IT’S THE QUIZ OF THE WEEK # 1
I laugh in the face of quiz shows
With their
supercilious so and so’s
I scoff at the “Mastermind”
chair
And “Who wants to be a
millionaire”
I spit on Ken Bruce’s “Pop
Master”
The “Brain of Britain”
or “The Krypton factor”
The only quiz worthy
of its name
Is the excellent “Keithy’s
guessing game”
Keith is a guy that I
work with and he entertains us with his amusing daily quiz, Keithy’s guessing
game.
It’s predominantly a
music quiz but invariably branches off into other areas.
IS THERE ANY GREATER PLACE ON EARTH?
When June comes fourth upon us
Is there any greater
place on earth?
Than England’s green
and pleasant land
Surely nowhere of
similar worth
When the breeze gently
stirs the grass
And the sun is in the
clear blue sky
Is there any greater
place on earth?
You could look abroad,
but why?
BALDY LOCKS AND THE THREE HAIRS
Baldy locks may be very rich
He may even be a
millionaire
But Baldy locks is
unpleasant
And he will never
share
Don’t ever approach
him
If you don’t want to
hear him swear
If you fall beneath
his gaze
You must say a little
prayer
Don’t venture to close
Never stray into his
lair
Don’t try to converse
with him
You won’t elicit any
cares
The only things he
cares about
Are his three
remaining hairs
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