I really want to say to you
Just how precious you
are to me
I really want to say
to you
That I know you are
the one for me
I really want to speak
to you of love
But here is the
twister
I really can’t talk to
you of love
Because I’m in love
with your sister
This little piggy has an ASBO
This little piggy’s in prison,
This little piggy was a car thief
This little piggy’s on the run
And this little piggy went...
“!£&&*!!!$” the anti-social little bastard
You are my dearest friend
And with hand on heart I say
I wish that by the grace of God
My special
friend has a happy day
Put downs work the best
For deflecting
unwanted attention
But try to be amusing
As this relieves the
tension
“How did you get to be so beautiful?”
He may well declare
So just reply to him
I met the beautiful Daniela
When we shared her umbrella
Then we drank a little Stella
And I said I thought her bella
She said I was quite a fella
So I had my way with Daniela
If I saw her now I’d tell her
About the state of my old fella
That turned a funny shade of yella
And the STD clinic fella
Had to employ his own umbrella
After I had my way with Daniela
When you’re on the pull
If you want to break
the ice
Say something funny
Or say something nice
Be devastatingly witty
Or say something
clever
Be complimentary
Or just lie in your
endeavour
“Winning the Lotto
jackpot”
You might start
“Is quite meaningless
if you’re single
And have a weak heart!”
I love it at the seaside out of season
When the bathers are not there
The beaches are no longer sun kissed
The sands are empty and bare
I love it at the seaside
On a bright sunny winters day
When you can stroll along
With out people getting in the way
You pick your way along the shore
Picking up driftwood and shells
Skim stones across the water
Without soliciting angry yells
I love it at the seaside
The deck chairs are all stored away
On the sea front all is quiet
And the car park is free all day
I love it at the seaside
The shops are shut and battened down
All the amusement arcades are shut
But not the Rose and Crown
