MY DOCTOR TOLD ME TO DO SOMETHING

 

My doctor told me to do something

That leaves me breathless

So I’ve started smoking again

Now I’m breathless and stressless

A MAN ENTERED A BEST PUN CONTEST

 

A man entered a best pun contest

And he chose ten puns to submit,

Hoping at least one pun would win

Unfortunately, no pun in ten did

6 SPRITES

 

I went to the shop

To buy 6 Sprites to sup

But when I got home

I realised I’d picked 7 up

TWO FISH WERE IN A TANK

 

Two fish were in a tank

And one said after pondering

“This is a really nice tank

But how do we drive the thing?”

A MAN BOUGHT AN EXPENSIVE GERMAN CAR

 

A man bought an expensive German car

Primarily to impress his friends

Unfortunately, he drove it into a tree

And found out how a Mercedes bends

THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A TEA BAG

 

The difference between a tea bag

And Woking Football Club

Is a simple one to discover

A tea bag stays longer in the cup

EVERYONE WANTED TO HANG OUT

 

Everyone wanted to hang out

With the mushroom but why?

I didn’t see the fascination

But it’s because he’s a fungi