PRIORITISING

 

Players perform elaborate routines

When goals are scored by my team

They must practise them for days

But I would prefer in many ways

That the celebration performers

Would practise defending corners

BE ENGLISH

 

Celebrate the victory

With your piers

Drown the woes of foes

In English beer

Sing loud the songs of triumph

Whisper low of near disasters

Be magnanimous in victory

Be humble in defeat

Be proud, be loud

Be English

UPON THE CHESSBOARD

 

Upon the chessboard

The pieces move

And change their futures

Their course and direction

And I want that

I want to make a move

In a different direction

Toward a different future

I will set a new course

And face what presents itself

There is nothing I can’t do

ALADDIN’S WISH

Aladdin rubbed his lamp

And a Genie did appear

You can have one wish

But only one he made clear

 

“I want to live forever”

Aladdin told the genie.
“I’m sorry” Came the reply

“You can’t wish for immortality”

 

“Living forever

Is against the regulations

You must think again

And revise your expectation”

 

“Do you have your wish?”

Aladdin answered “Yup”

“I want to live to see

England win the World Cup”

THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A TEA BAG

 

The difference between a tea bag

And Woking Football Club

Is a simple one to discover

A tea bag stays longer in the cup

MY DOG ATE ALL THE SCRABBLE TILES

 

My dog ate all the Scrabble tiles

When they were spilt on the mat

And for days he kept leaving

Little messages around the flat

OUR STAR SPRINTER IS NOT A LOOKER

 

Our star sprinter is not a looker

But that doesn’t bother us

We still cheer him to the rafters

But we do call him Fastidious

GREAT BRITAIN WERE INVITED

 

Great Britain were invited

To the Belgium town of Mons

For the sun tanning Olympics

And the whole team got Bronze

DID YOU KNOW THE REASON WHY

 

Did you know the reason why

Unattached women go to Wimbledon

It’s because they were told

There was a men's singles event on

BEING AN ENGLAND SUPPORTER

 

Being an England supporter

At a World Cup or Euro’s melee

Is likened to over-optimistic parents

Of the fat kid on sports day

THERE MAY HAVE BEEN SOME DOUBT

 

There may have been some doubt

As to his allegiance to the club

Denoted by replica shirt and shorts

But no such doubt existed in regard

To the authenticity of his jock strap

As we all know what they supports.

THE TRANSFER WINDOW IS OPEN

 

The transfer window is open

Which is very exciting for fans like me

Especially when I’ve just heard

Foghorn Leghorn has signed for KFC