I am the smoke
That will simply float away
Drift away powerless to stop
There is a kind of beauty about me
Also there is danger in me.
I am mercurial
I am thick like pea soup fog
Or thin and translucent like a veil
I have no purpose
I am only an after thought
I am the villain
A bi product of something useful
A man and his dog walk into the pub
Each night to drink with the locals
As the man has a drink, the mans dog
Lies down and exposes his genitals
And oblivious to his audience the dog
Then lies on his back and licks them
Another man looks on in admiration
Saying “Is no one as impressed as I am?”
He then turns to the owner saying
“Now that’s a thing I wish I could do”
The dogs owner looks at him smiling
“Well give him a crisp and he’ll let you”
When she returned home, she said
She had been sleeping under the stars
Which meant, she’d been having sex
With celebrities that she met in bars
How ironic would it be if
When learning survival skills
On a survival weekend
You had to eat Bear Grills
I took an evening class in Bush Craft
But they used some peculiar things
For example a sharp blade, a mirror
Some wax and assorted sequins
Down on the beach, the boys
Were, Catching Crabs
In other words, they were shagging
Bimbette and Babs
Definition of Goose bumps
Is not just a reflex action
It’s what you give a goose
On his birthday celebration
