ANNIVERSARY PLAN

“Where do you want to go for our anniversary?”

A husband asked his wife as it was that time again

“Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!” she said.

So with a smile he suggested, “How about the kitchen?”

ARE YOU WEARING A GARTER BELT?

 

Are you wearing a garter belt?

That would make my resistance melt

You’ll be a sight to enhance and bolster

Wearing a dirty gunslingers holster

FRIEND’S FIRST, THEN SOUL MATES # 3

Friend’s first, then soul mates

Then we spoke of matrimony

Now our souls are intertwined

Since we joined in holy monotony

UP ON THE DANCE FLOOR

 

Up on the dance floor

I have two left feet

And cannot impress

The girls that I meet

As I gyrate like my shorts

Are full of live ants

But I do much better at

The dance with no pants

AFTER THE SCANDAL OF AID WORKERS

 

After the scandal of aid workers

And their relationships with prostitutes

They needed to be reminded it seems

That they were there for the destitute

I WAS IN THE APPLE STORE

 

I was in the Apple Store being served when I loudly farted

And the sales guy got mad and we almost came to blows

More Apple staff and even other customers joined in

But it wasn’t my fault that they didn't have Windows

PERFECT CREATION

 

A man said to his wife one day, in the heat of an argument,

“How can you be stupid and beautiful in equal measure?” 

“God made me beautiful, so you would be attracted to me, and

He made me stupid, so you would be someone I’d treasure”