MY GREAT GRANDFATHER NEVER

 

My Great Grandfather never

Threw anything away in his decade

Which was a shame really

As he was killed by a hand grenade

A DISILLUSIONED VET WROTE A BOOK

 

A disillusioned vet wrote a book

And it is a real kiss and tell

About his life and times, entitled 

All creatures grunt and smell

A YOUNGER MEMBER OF STAFF

 

A younger member of staff

Caused something of a melee

Having completely misunderstood

The nature of Mufti day

I WOULD LIKE TO KILL THE PERSON

 

I would like to kill the person

Who said school days were fun

I was taught by Birds of pray,

More commonly known as nuns

I WAS HAPPILY SAT CONTEMPLATING

 

I was happily sat contemplating,

When a crab scuttled into view

So, I determined the time had come

To buy some more special shampoo

GOD CREATED THE PILOT WHALE

 

God created the Pilot Whale,

Contrary to heretical theories,

And it was so well received

God went on to make a series

I HAD TO KNOW WHAT SHE THOUGHT

 

I had to know what she thought

So, I texted her to check

“How was the sex” I asked

Hoping it wasn’t egotistic

And she would reply soon

And she texted “quite quick”