THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN CATS AND DOGS

The difference between

Cats and dogs is easily seen

Because Dogs have owners

Whereas Cats have helpers

TERRIBLE HOARDING

 

I’m a terrible hoarder and if there’s one thing

I’ve learned about junk, and I’ve learned quite a bit

Junk is something you've kept for many years

And throw away three weeks before you need it

WHO WANTS TO BE A MILLIONAIRE LOVER

 

William and Claire were watching

“Who wants to be a Millionaire”

Which was while they were in bed

And during the ads he said to her

“Do you want sex?” and she said “No,”

So, he asked “Is that your final answer?”

“Yes” she replied without looking at him  

“Then I'd like to phone a friend Claire”

FEVERISH

 

I don’t think I have swine flu

As I haven’t been to Mexico

But I don’t feel well at all

I feel like crap if you must know

I thought of the NHS for advice

On the flu and perhaps its tackling

So I phoned the swine flu hotline

But all I got was crackling

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 23

 

One, two, three, four, five.

Once I caught a fish alive,

But what we couldn’t see

The fish was full of Mercury

ALL-TIME CLASSIC MOVIE FAVOURITES – THE SHOP AROUND THE CORNER (1940)

 

“The Shop Around the Corner” is a romantic comedy, based on a play by Nikolaus Laszlo and Directed by Ernst Lubitsch.

In Budapest, Hungary, Matuschek and Company’s gift store is owned by Mr. Hugo Matuschek (Frank Morgan) and bachelor Alfred Kralik (James Stewart) is his best and most experienced salesman.

But everything seems to go awry when Klara Novak (Margaret Sullavan) is hired by Mr Matuschek, but from the first moment Kralik and she meet they do not get along.

Over the weeks that follows the lonely and dedicated Kralik has an anonymous pen pal and through their correspondence he falls in love with her and intends to propose to her.

Simultaneously however his relationship with his employer deteriorates and he is fired without explanation by Mr Matuschek on the very same night that he is going to meet his secret love and propose.

He goes to the bar that night regardless where they have scheduled their meeting with his colleague Pirovitch (Felix Bressart) and he surprisingly finds that Klara is his correspondent, however he chooses not disclose his identity to her because he feels ashamed after being sacked.

But following a shocking incident, involving salesman Ferencz Vadas (Joseph Schildkraut), shop boy Pepi Katona (William Tracy) and Matuschek himself, he has a change of heart and hires Kralik back again but this time to manage the shop.

However as Klara is still fascinated with her correspondent she pays little or no attention to Alfred so it would take all his guile and cunning to work out a plan to reveal himself to Klara who exactly he is.

But anything is possible, it is Christmas after all and everyone loves a happy ending.

PICKUP # 21

 

When you’re on the pull

If you want to break the ice

Say something funny

Or say something nice

Be devastatingly witty

Or say something clever

Be complimentary

Or just lie in your endeavour

“If I had a star for every time

You brightened my day”

You can say to her

“I'd have a galaxy to display”