GOOD ONE HAROLD

 

A pipe isn’t just something to smoke

To a wise man it’s a very useful tool

It gives him some time to consider

A pipe helps him think and still appear cool

It’s not just something to stick in his mouth

That’s something for every other fool

MIDDLE AGE BLUES

 

Too old to be young

Too young to be old

Too old for Armani

Too young for a cardie

Too old for flash trainers

Too young for carpet slippers

Too old to work

Too young to retire

Too old to be cool

Too young to be wise

Too old to dare

Too young to care

Too old to mention

Too young for a pension

Too old to be a lager lout

Too young to be a saga lout

BMI

 

I am not obese

Let’s get that right

I am not even fat

I’m just under height

COCKNEY RHYMING SLANG

 

Cain And Able

Oxford Scholar

China Plate

Khyber Pass

Nose And Chin

Elephants Trunk

Yarmouth Bloater

Rabbit And Pork

Hampstead Heath

You And E

Mince Pies

Iron Hoof

North And South

Garden Gate

Saucepan Lids

Lady Godiver

Adam And Eve

Nelson Eddy’s

George Raft

BENEATH THE STRIPY POLE

 

I don’t like hair stylists

Or unisex hairdressers

Salons with Women in smocks

Streaking and creating coiffures

When the time is right for me

I go to an old-fashioned Barbers

SMOKING KILLS

 

Strand

Mayfair

Old Holborn

Knights

Iceberg

Number 6

Guards

Kent

Imported

Lucky Strike

Liberty

St Moritz

ALL-TIME CLASSIC MOVIE FAVOURITES – THE SHOP AROUND THE CORNER (1940)

 

“The Shop Around the Corner” is a romantic comedy, based on a play by Nikolaus Laszlo and Directed by Ernst Lubitsch.

In Budapest, Hungary, Matuschek and Company’s gift store is owned by Mr. Hugo Matuschek (Frank Morgan) and bachelor Alfred Kralik (James Stewart) is his best and most experienced salesman.

But everything seems to go awry when Klara Novak (Margaret Sullavan) is hired by Mr Matuschek, but from the first moment Kralik and she meet they do not get along.

Over the weeks that follows the lonely and dedicated Kralik has an anonymous pen pal and through their correspondence he falls in love with her and intends to propose to her.

Simultaneously however his relationship with his employer deteriorates and he is fired without explanation by Mr Matuschek on the very same night that he is going to meet his secret love and propose.

He goes to the bar that night regardless where they have scheduled their meeting with his colleague Pirovitch (Felix Bressart) and he surprisingly finds that Klara is his correspondent, however he chooses not disclose his identity to her because he feels ashamed after being sacked.

But following a shocking incident, involving salesman Ferencz Vadas (Joseph Schildkraut), shop boy Pepi Katona (William Tracy) and Matuschek himself, he has a change of heart and hires Kralik back again but this time to manage the shop.

However as Klara is still fascinated with her correspondent she pays little or no attention to Alfred so it would take all his guile and cunning to work out a plan to reveal himself to Klara who exactly he is.

But anything is possible, it is Christmas after all and everyone loves a happy ending.