EAST OF KINTYRE

On the Mull of Kintyre

I stood atop the steep cliffs

On a day so crisp and clear

And looked out towards the east

And it was possible to see

The mystical Ailsa Craig

And the Ayrshire coast beyond 

ARE YOU WEARING A ONESIE? # 2

 

Are you wearing a onesie?

I didn’t know you were the type

But you have surprised me

And yes I like the tiger stripe

It’s rather a shapeless thing

Am I being picky and choosy?

To be honest I don’t like it

But I’d like to see your twosie

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 298

 

Taffy was a Welshman,

Taffy was a thief;

Taffy came to my house

And stole a piece of beef.

I should mention in the interest

Of political correctness

That not all Welshmen

Are called taffy

And not all Welshmen

Are thieves or indeed

Have a liking for someone else’s beef.

But this particular Welshman

In the 18^th Century Nursery Rhyme

Was indeed called taffy

And he was a thieving bastard

 

“Taffy was a Welshman was an actual nursery rhyme

Popularised in the 18^th Century, so don’t blame me”

YOU CAN’T TAKE IT WITH YOU

 

“You can’t take it with you”

That’s what they say

But at the end of the day

A Will is a dead giveaway

A BICYCLE COULDN'T STAND UP

 

A bicycle couldn't stand up

Alone it transpired

Because after a cycle

It was obviously two tired

WHEN I LIVED IN MELBOURNE

 

When I lived in Melbourne

I often used to wonder

Why the Local Area Network

Wasn’t called The LAN down under

COULD I TRY ON THAT PRETTY DRESS

“Could I try on that pretty dress

In the window?” she asked him

He replied “well I would prefer

That you used a cubicle madam”