Sunday, 23 May 2021

ALL-TIME CLASSIC MOVIE FAVOURITES – HOSTILE WITNESS (1969)

 

“Hostile Witness” is a Courtroom Drama, screenplay written by Jack Roffey based on his own play and Directed by Ray Milland .

 

In this extremely enjoyable courtroom drama, the daughter of successful Barrister Simon Crawford (Ray Milland), is killed in what appears to be a hit and run accident.

However, the police are unable to find the culprit, and Crawford swears that he will find the driver of the car and take revenge.

Later when his neighbour (a high court judge) is killed in a staged burglary, the blame falls on Crawford, after a letter is found implicating the neighbour in the death of Crawford's daughter.

When it comes to trial he is defended by his junior Sheila Larkin (Sylvia Syms) but after many twists and turns he ends up defending himself.

As you may expect from such a film, there is an unexpected twist at the end.

WHEN MY GIRLFRIEND SUGGESTED # 2

 

When my girlfriend suggested

We play hospitals

I thought phwor

 

But she gave me an enema

And now I don’t want

To play anymore

WHEN ALBERT EINSTEIN

 

When Albert Einstein

Tugged on his penis

It was widely regarded

As a stroke of genius

ARE YOU WEARING A TOGA?

 

Are you wearing a toga?

I don’t want to be an ogre

But you’ll be a hit alright

At the house party tonight

As everyone will be knowing.

Because you will be showing

That beneath the flowing robes

You have unfettered globes

I WAS CAUGHT SHOPLIFTING

I was caught shoplifting

Form the Apple store

It was my first offence

I’d not done it before

 

They didn’t prosecute

I got lucky clearly

Although I think it was

Only Scrumping really 

THE BANK OF ENGLAND ANNOUNCED

 

The Bank of England Announced

In an article they wrote

Jane Austen Will appear

On the new ten-pound note

 

I don’t like to put a damper

On the decision but you see

This decision means that

She will be the “Tenner” Lady

MY WIFE IS A JAILER

 

My wife is a jailer

And in a fit of passion

I made advances

To get my marital ration

 

In the ensuing melee

I became entangled

In her bunch of keys

As they dangled

 

I begged for assistance

But she just scoffed

And in the end

She just fobbed me off