RHETORICAL WASTE

 

There is a rhetorical question

That gives me indigestion

Is a factory efficient for its sins?

If it only produces waste bins?

CERTIFICATION

 

Not a marriage certificate

But an alternate

The name for it

Should be work permit

WHAT DO YOU GET

 

What do you get?

Answer me please

What do you get?

With Surprise peas

What do you get?

The question begs

Well, the answer is

You get chapped legs

I SPILL MOST OF IT

 

Father became a drinker when an early teen

And he’s a drunk now and the years in between

In his time, he has consumed every type of beverage

From meths to home brew resembling raw sewerage

He has helped many a publicans’ child through public school

He has also funded publican’s holidays like a fool

If he’d studied boozing at uni he’d have got his blue

But they didn’t do a degree course in drinking special brew

Except for the DT’s and the raging hangovers

Heart disease, cirrhosis, kidney failure and ulcers

He seems not to have been affected too seriously

Though he never buys drinks for friends when in company

I MUST BE GETTING ON

 

There are certain little signs to tell

When your years are getting on in life

Like the little gray-haired old lady

You help across the road IS your wife

IS IT OK

 

I would have to say

I've never quite been

Sure, if it's ok to eat

A crisp when it’s green

RIGHT THERE

 

When you are a man

You do things out of habit

If it itches, it will be scratched

We do that so live with it