SHE DOESN’T UNDERSTAND ME

 

I told her “my wife doesn’t understand me”

But she didn’t believe a word I said I could see

She said, “I can’t believe you are so selfish”

No, it’s true her name is Anna and she is Polish

Q AND A

 

When you’re young you think that

You have all the answers to mention

However, the truth of the matter is that

You don’t even know every question

NO WAY PET

 

Please can we get a goldfish dad?

It would really make us glad

Big or small it doesn’t matter

Not even if it comes in batter

Well can we have a parrot then?

Not even if it tastes like chicken

WHALE KEEP A WELCOME

 

While on holiday an Eskimo or should I say Inuit

Had his car break down while in Wales isn’t it

The bonnet up hoping the problem would reveal

A welsh voice behind him said “You’ve blown a seal”

Taking offence and thinking the shot was cheap

Replied “You can’t talk, you lot still shag sheep”

DO NOT FEAR

 

I’m not afraid of guns

Guns don’t bother me

It’s the bullets though

That scare me really

 

I’m not afraid of heights

Heights don’t bother me

If you fall, it’s the ground

That kills you, you see

 

I’m not afraid of water

Rivers, lakes or the sea

It only takes a puddle

To drown a man in, see

 

I’m not afraid of flying

Flying doesn’t bother me

Crashing on the other hand

Scares me constantly

 

I’m not afraid of heights

Heights don’t bother me

The most dangerous is

A thing called gravity

ALL-TIME CLASSIC MOVIE FAVOURITES – ANGELS WITH DIRTY FACES (1938)

 

“Angels with Dirty Faces” is a Crime Drama, screenplay by John Wexley and Warren Duff, from a story by Rowland Brown and Directed by Michael Curtiz.

It’s the story of two boyhood friends, Rocky Sullivan (James Cagney) and Jerry Connolly (Pat O'Brien) who were running from the police one night when Rocky was caught.

After he was arrested, he went into the prison system and became a lifelong criminal, while Jerry went straight and became a Catholic Priest and ministered to people in the same neighbourhood where he and Rocky grew up.

When Rocky is released from prison after his latest term, he resumes his criminal lifestyle and is hero worshipped by many of the local kids.

Jerry is worried that the kids will follow Rocky down the wrong path into the criminal world and works hard to keep them on the straight and narrow.

But no matter what he says he can’t get through to them, even after Rocky is convicted of murder and sentenced to the electric chair, so Jerry visits him on death row and asks him for one last favour.

A classic of the genre, with extraordinary acting by James Cagney, ably complimented by Pat O'Brien as his friend, Humphrey Bogart who is the perfect actor as the arch villain, and the radiant Ann Sheridan adds a feminine touch.

THERE IS KNOWLEDGE I NEED TO KNOW # 5

 

There is knowledge I need to know

Which will give me the status of a king

Because I find myself wondering

If a fish gets cramps after eating