JULIUS CAESAR’S APPROACH

 

Julius Caesar’s approach

May have been absurd

But a different approach

Was what he preferred

Which is why he came,

He saw, he concurred

I WAS AT A FANCY DRESS PARTY

 

I was at a fancy-dress party

And looking for something tarty

I was beginning to lose hope

When I got an unexpected grope

And I was forced to conclude

When things got decidedly rude

That for the very best nooky

You should do it with a Wookey

I HAVE MANY QUESTIONS # 1

 

I have many questions

And here’s one to begin

Who put the Alphabet

In the order that it’s in?

A THIN DIME

Well, the difference between

         A skinny blonde schmuck

And a counterfeit dollar

         Is that one's a phony buck

WRITERS ANGST # 1

The thing that gives me anxiety

For the most part is not writing

But the thing that gives me

The most anxiety of all is writing

DEFROSTING THE FRIDGE

 

I spent two hours defrosting

The fridge yesterday

Although my darling wife

Prefers to call it foreplay

WIDOWERS RECOMPENSE

 

I am now a lonely widower

And all my buddies are dead

But there are compensations

That must definitely be said

 

There’s life in the old dog yet

That’s all I have to say,

As I go to the retirement home

For my fifty shades of grey