I find that in my life
Low
expectations are advised
Because
I am rarely disappointed
Friday, 19 February 2021
LOW EXPECTATIONS
SALISBURY VIEW
The late September sun
Bathed
the water meadow
As
sheep graze the lammas
In
stark relief against the blue
Like
a great golden arrow
The
spire points heavenward
SHEEPISH CONVERSE
A sheep bleats in the twilight
As
day drifts into night
So,
I responded in like wise
Much
to my wife’s surprise
“Why
on earth did you just bleat?
You’re
not a bloody sheep”
I
replied, “I am not of the country
So,
it simply occurred to me
That
in my humble view
It
was the polite thing to do”
LET ME DINE ON IMMORAL-FLESH
Let me dine on immoral flesh
So
readily on display
Let
me sup on the promiscuous
Who
will let me have my way
Let
me exorcise my desires
On
the willing assets of the age
Let
me use them and abuse them
While
they brazenly assuage
Let
me choose from the buffet
One
who will eagerly delight
It
takes very little effort
If
you do the thing right
Just
start at Weatherspoon’s
On
almost any given night
Thursday, 18 February 2021
ON THE OTHER FOOT
Now a shoe is without any doubt male
The
reason for this I will now detail
Men
are usually unpolished like a shoe
And
with their tongues hanging out too
WHEN WE WERE KIDS
When we were kids
Our cots were covered with brightly coloured lead-based
paint, which we chewed and licked
And we did not die
When we were kids
We didn’t have childproof lids on medicine bottles, or
special latches on doors or windows
And we did not die
When we were kids
When we rode our bikes, we didn’t need to wear helmets
or protective knee and elbow pads
And we did not die
When we were kids
We would ride in cars with no seat belts or air bags. We
would even ride in the passenger seat
And we did not die
When we were kids
We drank water from the garden tap and from streams and
not from bottle it tasted the same
And we did not die
When we were kids
We ate bread and dripping spotted dick for pudding and
drank fizzy pop with sugar in it
And we did not die
When we were kids
We would share drinks among our friends from the same
bottle or can without sterilizing it first
And we did not die
When we were kids
We made go-carts out of wood and old pram wheels then we
would race down the steepest hill
And we did not die
When we were kids
Sometimes if we didn’t have a go-cart, we would race
down hills on a tin lid or even a Tea tray
And we did not die
When we were kids
We sometimes fell out with each other and even got into
fights punches were thrown and eyes blacked
But we did not die
When we were kids
We played football, cricket, and street rounders and
sometimes that ball really hurt you
But we did not die
When we were kids
In the summer holidays we would leave home after
breakfast and only go home to have our tea
No one worried or minded
When we were kids
We sometimes we had accidents falling out of trees or
just falling over and we got cut and bruised
And no one got sued
When we were kids
We played with catapults, spud guns and pea shooters and
every autumn we played with conkers
But we did not die
When we were kids
We made up games with sticks and played at being Indians
with spears and bows and arrows
We didn’t poke our eyes out
When we were kids
We didn’t have video games or multi-channel Telly or
Video and DVD’s or personal computers
We had friends instead
When we were kids
Our parents didn’t bail us out if we broke a law they
sided with the police and we were punished
And oh yes, we did not die
KIDNEYS
Kidneys are obviously females I’d say
And
the simple reason is this way
Because,
and this is a trait of theirs
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