A man and his dog walk into the pub
Each
night to drink with the locals
As
the man has a drink, the mans dog
Lies
down and then licks his genitals
An
offended customer, disgusted asks
“Why
does your dog do that man?”
Then
owner answers without hesitation
“That’s
easy he does it because he can”
The worst two problems
In the world as far, I can see
Is first homelessness and
Then to feed the hungry
The obvious solution to
These problems is simplicity
All you have to do is
Feed the homeless to the hungry
Sushi is officially now a delicacy
That’s what they say at any rate
It’s known to the rest of the world
However, and to fishermen as bait
The only reason so many people
Were at the man’s funeral, it’s said
Was that they wanted to be sure
The insufferable man was dead
My boss is an unusual man
Would
he were normal instead
I
don’t know how he managed
Nor
will I before I’m dead
To
become a manager at all
He
has certainly lost the thread
If
he ever had the thread before
He
is very unusual as I said
He
never makes a decision
Or
has plans of work ahead
Asked
an awkward question
He
goes a funny shade of red
Workers
need to be managed
And
also, by their leaders led
He
just stays in his office
With
a look so full of dread
He’s
not a happy kind of man
And
his personality has fled
He
only leaves his office
For
Doom and gloom to spread
He’s
a pitiful sight to behold
It’s
an opinion held widespread
As
I watch him Sat at his desk
He
Looks Sickly and underfed
He
is very much a figure of fun
By
those below and overhead
He’s
constantly at the mercy
Of
His secretary Miss Whitbread
He’s
the butt of many of her jokes
You
might even say tormented
He
she goes again to his office
Her
habit clearly needs to be fed
He
was startled by a knocking
“Mr.
Conway?” Miss Whitbread said
“Your
proctologist just called
It
seems they found your head!”
The travelling speed of a Bill
Even
second class can still
Get
to you for good or ill
Twice
as fast as a cheque will
J. Wellington Wimpy,
One
of Popeye’s crowd,
Had
an appetite for burgers
Of
which he was proud
He’d
eat them thru the show
Munching
on them loud
And
that was way back
When
amongst the TV crowd
Product
placement
Wasn’t
even allowed
