I DID

 

There was a man who muttered a few words

In church and found himself wed

A year later he muttered something in his sleep

And found himself divorced instead

TIME

 

Now what determines

The length of a minute

Depends if you’re outside

The bathroom or in it

A SENIOR MOMENT ON THE TOWN

 

After I’ve been painting the town red

It’s not the drink that does my head

Its waiting so long that gets my goat

Before I can apply a second coat

PHOTOGRAPHIC MODE

 

A photographer had to go to Bimbette and say

That his models’ father had just passed away

Understandably Bimbette was quite distraught

So, he told her to go home because she ought

After she left, he got to thinking that he should

Have told her that he’d do anything that he could

So, he decided he’d go to her house to see her

When he arrived she was sitting alone as it were

On the front porch crying even harder than before

"What’s wrong now Bimbette" he began to explore

Sobbing she said, "I just spoke with my sister Sue”

“And she just told me that her father just died too"

ARE YOU WEARING A GIRDLE?

 

Are you wearing a girdle?

That’s a problem Mrs Spurdle,

Not an insurmountable hurdle

But due to the snugness of the fit

Prising all of you, out of, all of it

Might slow me down a bit

THE SCULPTOR CREATES

 

The sculptor creates

With skilful hands

The beauteous article

An artistic gift

Its concept borrowed

From his dreams

And his subconscious mind

To infuse in his design

And create a work of art

IN GEORGE CLOONEY’S LATEST ROLE

 

In George Clooney’s latest role

He’s to play the part of Kevan

A habitual paedophile

And it’s called "Oh, She's Eleven?"