THAT’S PROOF YOU FOOL

 

Nothing is really foolproof

Despite the general rule

No nothing is foolproof

To a particularly gifted fool

FROM A DIFFERENT PERSPECTIVE AGAIN

 

English is a funny language some would say it’s quite bizarre

Words can be masculine and feminine confusing what they are

The Feminine of Vulnerable is Fully opening up one's self to all

While the masculine is not wearing a box when Playing football

For women a Remote Control is a device for changing channel on TV

For men it’s for scanning all channels until you find the pornography

For a woman Communication is the sharing of thoughts and feelings

For a man it’s a call from the pub on the occasions he actually rings

The Feminine of Making Love the greatest statement of intimacy

While men don’t care what it’s called as long as they get plenty

I GIVE UP

Yes, I really gave up smoking over a year ago

To do it I borrowed a book from a man I know

It consisted of a mixture of positive thinking

Psychobabble and even confidence reinforcing

 

Even though I’ve managed to kick the habit

I still miss it every day if just a little bit

The only thing that has kept me off them

Has been the thought of revenge against him

 

Him is in fact the author of that awful book

I never even met him nor did I even get a look

But what can I do now to keep off the weed

When I’ve just heard he’s dropped down deed

WISDOM OF CATS AND DOGS

 

A wife who keeps putting

Her husband in the doghouse

May well drive him into

Seeking comfort in a cathouse

GRAND WISDOM

 

It is a foolish man who

Gives his wife a grand piano

But a wise man who

Gives her an upright organ – oh

HOSTILE WITNESS

 

"You appear to have more than

Average intelligence for a man

Of your background and career”

The Lawyer spoke with a sneer

To the poor witness on the stand

Who was unhappy you understand

"If I wasn’t under oath,” said the gent

“I’d certainly return the compliment"

WHERE DO BABIES COME FROM?

 

"Can you get pregnant from anal intercourse?"

A woman asks her doctor in anxious discourse 

"Certainly" replied the doctor with remorse

“After all that’s how we get Lawyers of course”