LOOKING VERY GOOD IN BLACK

I thought of how good she looked in black

When I saw her approaching

And anticipated the removal of the Green dress

At the end of the evening

ARE YOU WEARING WORN OUT DRAWERS?

 

Are you wearing worn out drawers?

Well, I think it’s something certain

You may put on a very good show

But your riches have gone for a burton

And despite every outwardly sign

It’s a case of “all kippers and curtains”

ARE YOU WEARING MORMON GARMENTS?

 

Are you wearing Mormon garments?

The ones like cool white milk

Are they supposed to be sacred?

Or something of that ilk

Or to preserve your modesty

In sensual soft shimmering silk

ARE YOU WEARING SILK DRAWERS?

 

Are you wearing silk drawers?

I only ask you as I can see

That you appear to be the victim

Of an elastic deficiency

And if you combine that

With the force of gravity 

They are around your ankles

You may think it a catastrophe

But I would beg to differ

For me it’s just serendipity

ARE YOU WEARING AN UNDERSKIRT?

 

Are you wearing an underskirt?

I can see it beneath your hem

Oh, its imported silk, is it?

Oh yes of course I like them

ARE YOU WEARING A PETTICOAT?

 

Are you wearing a petticoat?

Are they were still in vogue?

That’s delightful apparel

For a lascivious old rogue

ARE YOU WEARING AN UNDERSLIP?

 

Are you wearing an underslip?

Are you really by thunder

Would you like to slip out of it

Or should I just slip under

ARE YOU WEARING A LOOK OF CONTEMPT?

 

Are you wearing a look of contempt?

After my ham-fisted clumsy attempt

Clearly, I can indeed see that you are

After failing to unhook that bloody bra

ARE YOU WEARING LACE GARTERS?

 

Are you wearing lace garters?

Answer me that one for starters

Beneath your dress up high

Around your black clad thigh

Where the black sheath is stopping

Where they are lacy at the topping

Are there lacy garter rings

Sexily placed decorative things

Please answer this one for starters

Are you wearing lacy garters?

SHEER EXTRAVAGANCE

 

A husband pays five hundred pounds

To get his wife a sheer negligée

So, she thought she should pose for him

As it was a lot of money to pay

But decided to pretend to wear the item

And then next day get a refund on it

He looked on wide eyed and said

“For the price they could have ironed it”

THE COMPANY WHO SUPPLIED

 

The company who supplied

My wife’s enhanced d-cup 

Used Helium breast implants

So, the company went tits up

ARE YOU WEARING CAMI-KNICKERS?

 

Are you wearing Cami-knickers?

Well might I ask the reason why?

Now they’re deliciously sexy things

Though not really appropriate on a guy

ARE YOU WEARING A STRAPLESS BRA?

 

Are you wearing a strapless bra?

With tits the size of yours

You’d have done better

Tucking then into your drawers

ARE YOU WEARING A LACE UP CORSET?

 

Are you wearing a lace up corset?

All whale bone and string

Oh, wow it looks really sexy

But how do I get into the thing?

ACCORDING TO A POLL

Women’s silk Panties are Not

The best thing on earth,

According to a poll they are

Next to the best thing on earth 

ROSES ARE VIOLET

 

Roses are Violet

Violets are Lilac

Lilacs are Roses

And she wants then back

ARE YOU WEARING PRIMARK PANTS?

 

Are you wearing Primark pants?

Don’t you think that a little drastic?

You don’t want, on you wedding day

To be let down by cheap elastic

ARE YOU WEARING A BRA?

 

Are you wearing a bra?

It doesn’t look as if you are

I think underneath your shirt

Your breasts are free and pert

And clearly if they are

Then you don’t need to wear a bra

18-30 HOLS

 

I love the 18-30 hols

Making out with the foreign dolls

Some of them are just a bit flirty

Some of them are just plain dirty

Some of them are straight laced

Some of them are just two faced

And tell you No to your face

Then you see to their disgrace

They don’t have any underwear

Wearing nothing at all down there

Zonda pantaloon, uden undies

Nashi cami, fuera frillies

Bez briefs, No hose, senza smalls

Nicht knicks, Sans pants, bugger all

No thongs, panties or bloomers,

No knickers, big pants or drawers

Ilman, Gan, Sin, Uten, Utan, without

The dirty little minx’s are wearing nout

I JUST WALKED INTO MY BEDROOM

 

I just walked into my bedroom,

Which was littered with crap

And tripped over a discarded bra

I was floored by my own booby trap