I LIKE TO TRY TOSSING THE PANCAKES

 

I like to try tossing the pancakes

But my inadequacy’s its revealing

And the results of my failed efforts

Look like I’ve Artexed the ceiling

AT THE ANNUAL PANCAKE RACE

 

At the annual pancake race

The winner is always smug Trace

I’m always at the rear of the chase

Limping home in last place

Then I must congratulate Trace

And engage in a false embrace

When I really what to hear the base

Of the frying pan hitting her face

THE PANCAKE DAY RACE

 

The Pancake Day race was a popular event

And was held amidst much happy hoorays

Until the runners became too competitive   

And behaved like parents on sports days

NICKANAN NIGHT

 

Nickanan Night or Shrove Monday evening

Was a time for boys to commit petty crime

Now we don’t have it on one special night

Instead now it appears to happen all the time

COLLOP MONDAY

 

The third day of Shrovetide

Once known as Collop Monday

Named after Collops of bacon

A traditional dish of the day

Which was served with eggs

It’s the forgotten Shrove Monday

I HAVE GIVEN UP SEX FOR LENT # 1

 

I have given up sex for Lent

Which should not disconcert

As I haven’t done it for six years

So another month won’t hurt

I HAVE GIVEN UP SEX FOR LENT # 2

 

I have given up sex for Lent

Which is to some small extent

An empty gesture on my part

As I had to as I have a bad heart

I HAVE GIVEN UP SEX FOR LENT # 3

 

I have given up sex for Lent

Which is to some small extent

An empty gesture on my part

As to stop I’d first need to start

IT’S LENT ONCE AGAIN

 

It’s Lent once again

That time of year

To de-clutter, A time

To tidy and clear

But it’s not the time

To tidy the garden shed

The garage or the loft

Or even under the bed

Lent is the time when

Spring cleaning begins

When we cleanse our souls

And wash away our sins

ASH WEDNESDAY FIRST DAY OF LENT

 

The palm branches blessed on Palm Sunday,

Are the following year, burnt and blessed again

And placed on the heads of the participants

To the accompaniment of the familiar refrain

“Remember that you are dust, and to dust you shall return”

And the Lenten season has begun once again

LENT

 

This time of year is significant

For what Lent represents

But I have racked my brains

And don’t know what to give up for lent

I really don’t know what to give up

I don’t have a sweet tooth

And I neither smoke nor drink

No vices at all and that’s the truth

So despite its significance

For what Lent represents

I have come to the conclusion

It’s easier just to give up lent

I HAVE GIVEN UP FOR LENT

 

I have given up for lent

Pate de fois gras

Lobster thermadore

And Beluga caviar

Well in a way

I’ve never had them ever

But I won’t have them

Between now and Easter

IT’S LENT ONCE MORE

 

It’s Lent once more

A time to cleanse the soul

Empty the trash

And let Christ keep us whole

 

Clear the spam

Empty the buffers of sin

Deny yourself

And let the lord back in

 

It’s Lent once more

Pray to your saviour for peace

Cleanse your soul

Then your penance can cease

Odds And Ends

SEAT OF LEARNING

In those halcyon days at university
Our lively intelligence or our esprit
Meant heads were encouraged towards the noetic
But our hearts gravitated to embrace the poetic
Our fecund, fertile minds, proved greatly to suit
As our high minded imaginings bore great fruit

GREEN HILLS

In the lee of the mountains with snow on the ground
Sits a quaint little village with hills all around
No sign can be seen of the green grassy hills
For they lay neath the snow in the wintery chill

But the people are happy and get on with their lives
All the brothers and sisters and husbands and wives
For they know that soon the snow will turn to rain
And then they will see their green hills again

IT’S LENT ONCE MORE

It’s Lent once more
A time to cleanse the soul
Empty the trash
And let Christ keep us whole

Clear the spam
Empty the buffers of sin
Deny yourself
And let the lord back in

It’s Lent once more
Pray to your saviour for peace
Cleanse your soul
Then your penance can cease

LENT

LENT

This time of year is significant
For what Lent represents
But I have racked my brains
And don’t know what to give up for lent
I really don’t know what to give up
I don’t have a sweet tooth
And I neither smoke nor drink
No vices at all and that’s the truth
So despite its significance
For what Lent represents
I have come to the conclusion
It’s easier just to give up lent

I HAVE GIVEN UP FOR LENT

I have given up for lent
Pate de fois gras
Lobster thermadore
And Beluga caviar
Well in a way
I’ve never had them ever
But I won’t have them
Between now and Easter

WHAT CAN I GIVE UP?

For lent you have to give up
Something that you enjoy
Well that gave me a lot more choices
When I was but a boy
Now it’s not quite so easy
I don’t enjoy too much at my age
So I will have to give up being cantankerous
Or just give up road rage

FROM LENT TILL EASTER

MY COOKIE LAMENT

Oh what a pleasure they represent
Such sinful pleasure I’ll not repent
Whether foreign fare of strange accent
Or posh ones made for lady and gent
Or those down the bargain basement
Even with broken ones I am content
But I must cease those moments spent
Devouring the cookies heaven sent
And sing loud my sad cookie lament
Of a man left alone in his torment
For as the treat that they represent
I have given cookies up for lent

GETHSEMANE

In that favoured retreat
Of Gethsemane’s garden
Did the Prince of peace
In his agonies
Sweat blood upon
That fertile ground
Forsaken by his father
Doubting his destiny
And how wretchedly betrayed
By that simple Judas kiss

ON A HILL IN CALVARY

On a hill in Calvary
In a savage unenlightened time
Nailed upon a rugged cross
By brutal hand
They thought to kill a man
To snuff out his light
That light of purest love
Unquenchable, indestructible

On that hill in Calvary
He died for us
The shadow of that cross
Cast upon the bloody land
Was an illuminating shadow
That spread light and love
Shining across millennia
Unquenchable, indestructible

On that hill in Calvary
He died for us
In that savage unenlightened time
Murdered by brutal hand
Humiliated, dehumanised
But through his love for us
And his sacrifice for us
He redeemed us