WMD

 

The weapons of mass destruction

Have been with us for many years

Weapons of such devastation

They’re beyond your darkest fears

After years of fruitless search

Discovery’s still not on the brink

So why look in the deserts of Iraq 

They’re much closer than you think

An old woman of my acquaintance

Makes them in a flat in Basingstoke

Such foul diabolical substances

And concoctions to make you choke

Among the many illegal weapons

That terrorists are now sampling

The most dangerous in her arsenal 

Is the evil bacon and onion dumpling

Such an innocent recipe you think

But so dangerous it has been proved

Even the most sophisticated oven

Sighs in relief as the dish is removed

As if this were not deadly enough

Special bran gravy is served with it

To compliment the steaming dumpling

While keeping the victim’s bowels fit

After its consumption you sit dazed

Semi-conscious and bloated vastly

Can weapons of mass destruction

Ever possibly be quite this ghastly