A Little Bit Of Humour # 73

CINDERELLA’S TEAM IS BOTTOM OF THE LEAGUE # 1

Cinderella’s team is bottom of the league
They’re even lower than the bumpkins
But it’s obvious why they struggle
Because the team coach is a pumpkin

A STRIKER AND A MAGICIAN

A striker and a magician
Clearly have in common
An almost instinctive ability
To do hat tricks effectively

THERE WAS A FOUR HOUR POWER CUT

There was a four hour power cut
While she was in the department store
And Bimbette then spent all four hours
Trapped halfway up the escalator

DOWN AT THE STABLES

Down at the stables
We have a dirty phone caller
Who we have nicknamed
The hoarse Whisperer

IF THE MOUNTAINS OF THE WORLD

If the mountains of the world
Were to be put to the test
The most intelligent one
Would be mount cleverest

MY UNCLE HAS WRITTEN AN EXPOSE

My Uncle has written an expose
It’s a real kiss and tell
About being a vet, it’s called
All creatures grunt and smell

DIETING TIP # 1

When you are alone
And you eat something
It has no calories, as long
As no one sees a thing

FOGHORN LEGHORN’S COOP

Have you ever wondered why?
A chicken coop has two doors?
Because it would obviously be
A chicken Sedan if it had four

IF YOU WERE TO TRAIN QUASIMODO

If you were to train Quasimodo
For an American footballer game
The result of training would be
The Halfback of Notre Dame

THE COLDEST COUNTRY ON EARTH

The coldest country on earth
Is not Lapland? Isn’t that silly
It’s a place that make you shiver
But nothing at all like Chile

THE SNOWMAN STOOD ON HIS LAWN

The snowman stood on his lawn
With a smile across his face
Because the snow blower was
Heading towards his place

HERALDING ITS ARRIVAL

Heralding its arrival
A lone piper suitably bedecked
Leads the procession
To the hosts table unchecked
It’s delivered to the supper
With such deferential respect
Then addressed and served
Not to eat it shows disrespect
Well if I’ve eaten anything fouler
Then I truly cannot recollect

IT’S A SURE SIGN YOU HAVE LOST # 1

It’s a sure sign you have lost
Your sex appeal for certain
When the local peeping tom
Chooses to close your curtain

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 333

Polly put the kettle on,
Polly put the kettle on,
Polly put the kettle on,
We'll all make meth

PC’s take it off again,
PC’s take it off again,
PC’s take it off again,
We're all going away


ARE YOU WEARING A DOPEY LOOK?

Are you wearing a dopey look?
Come on tell me what’s to blame
No please don’t answer that
And I don’t want to know her name