I WENT INTO HOSPITAL FOR MINOR SURGERY # 13
I went into hospital for minor surgery
The staff did not fill me with a sense of security
As I was coming around I heard someone say
“I hope this patient has already had a family”
WHAT NOT TO DO IN HORROR MOVIES # 2
When it appears that you have succeeded
And the monster is lying dead
Do not for any reason go and check
Get the hell out of there instead
WHEN ASKED WHAT HE DID FOR A LIVING # 2
When asked what he did for a living
He replied furtively “I’m a spy”
When told he was dressed as a butcher
He added “I’m a mince Spy”
LAST NIGHT I WAS SHAKEN VIOLENTLY AWAKE
Last night I was shaken violently awake
So I thought it must be an earthquake
But I soon realised as my heart was soaring
It was just my wife telling me I was snoring
ONE DAY ON THE GOLF COURSE
One day on the golf course
I overturned my golf cart
A pretty woman came to assist
And I was attracted from the start
Elizabeth, was very attractive
And didn’t apportion blame
“Are you okay are you hurt?”
she asked “what's your name?”
“It’s Colin and I’m fine” I replied
And she invited me to her villa
which backed onto the course
“I'll help you with the cart later”
“That's kind of you,” I answered,
But my wife wouldn’t like it”
“Oh, come on,” Elizabeth insisted
“Just come in and rest for a bit”
She was very persuasive “okay,”
I agreed, “But my wife won't like it.”
After a stiff drink I said “Thank you
But I must go my wife will be upset.”
“She’ll understand” Elizabeth said
“Because you might have been hurt”
And asked “where is she by the way?”
And I replied “Under the cart!”
A LONELY FARMER DECIDED TO SEE A MOVIE
A lonely farmer decided to see a movie
And take his favourite Cockerel too
But he knew animals weren’t allowed
So he hid him down his pants, out of view
He bought a ticket, and went inside
And sat down next to two old widows
The movie started unbuttoning his fly
So the Cockerel could watch the show
And one widow whispered to the other
“The guy next to me has his thing out”
Her friend replied “Don’t be squeamish
It’s not your first nor the last no doubt,
And I’m sure you’ve seen bigger
When you’re at home watching porn”
“Well I’ve seen bigger” she agreed
“But I’ve not seen one eating my popcorn”
MY FIRST EXPERIENCE OF DRINKING COFFEE
My first experience of drinking Coffee
Was when I was a kid at school
It came in a bottle and tasted foul
“Camp” it was called and wasn’t cool
THEY DO VERY ODD THINGS WITH SPUDS
They do very odd things with spuds
Nowadays some of which seem crazy
When I was young people who didn't
Peel potatoes were regarded as lazy
INTERLOCUTOR RESPONSE
“Is it true if you’re asked a question
You answer with another question?”
A young man asked his new bride
“Who told you that?” she replied
HE DIALED 999
He dialed 999 and said.
“Send an ambulance, my wife is in Labour”
“Is this her first baby?” the operator asked
“No, this is her husband, Trevor”
THE ROADS WERE UNEVEN AND BUMPY
The roads were uneven and bumpy,
Potholed and rutted
Which is no more than what
You come to expect
Of a third world country
Unfortunately I was driving in Surrey
THE OVER 50 EXERCISE PLAN
With a 2kg potato bag in each hand,
Extend your arms straight out from your sides
And hold them there as long as you can.
Try to reach a full minute, and then relax.
Each day you'll find that you can hold
This position for just a bit longer on this plan.
After a couple of weeks, move up to 5kg potato bags.
Then try 25kg potato bags and eventually 50kg bags
When you are ready put a potato in each of the bags.
I DECIDED TO TAKE AN AEROBICS CLASS FOR SENIORS
I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors.
And I had to gyrate, jump, twist and bend
And I sweated for an hour, but, by the time I got
My leotard on, the class was already at an end
ST PATRICKS DAY FANCY DRESS
My friend asked me
What I was going to be
For St Patricks Day
I said “Drunk will do me”
PEPERAMI IS A BIT OF AN ANIMAL
Peperami is a bit of an animal
Is the pitch the adverts hit
But its animal origins aside
I would like to know “what bit”
Wednesday 2 August 2017
A Little Bit Of Humour # 142
I WENT INTO HOSPITAL FOR MINOR SURGERY # 12
I went into hospital for minor surgery
And was fearful the procedure would be a botch
And as I was coming around I heard someone say
“Did anyone see what I did with my watch?”
WHAT NOT TO DO IN HORROR MOVIES # 1
When browsing the occult section
Of the library shelves
Never read aloud from a book
Of demon summoning spells
ARE YOU WEARING A BOILER SUIT?
Are you wearing a boiler suit?
Well it’s not the most flattering wear
But it does have a certain fascination as
I’m fascinated to know what’s under there
WHEN ASKED WHAT HE DID FOR A LIVING # 1
When asked what he did for a living
He replied furtively “I’m a spy”
When told he was dressed as a farmer
He added “I’m a shepherd Spy”
WHEN THE ALLSPICE SINGERS
When the allspice singers
Really went off the rails
Coryanda and star Anise
Had the Pepperatzi on their tails
A TEACHER HELD A SPELLING BEE
A teacher held a spelling bee and asked
“Kyle, how do you spell “crocodile?”“
“K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L” he said
“No, that's not the way to spell Crocodile”
Said the teacher “Maybe it’s wrong, but you
Asked me how I spell it” explained Kyle
THE PREFECT AND THE OIK
“Why are you always such a dirty little oik?”
The prefect asked
“You are the dirtiest pupil by far,
Look at me, I’m always clean and smart”
The boy replied
“I'm closer to the ground than you are”
INTERRUPTING ANNETTE
“Give me a sentence starting with “I”“
The teacher asked young Annette
“I is...” she began but teacher interrupted
“No, always say, “I am”, Annette”
The girl looked puzzled, but complied
“I am the ninth letter of the alphabet”
THE CAT ESSAY
The teacher said “your essay on “My cat”
Is exactly the same as your brother Matt’s,
Did you copy his work for your story?”
“No, miss, but it's the same cat” said Corey
ONE DIRECTION HAVE SPLIT UP
“One Direction” have split up
It seems nothing lasts these days
Ironically all the members
Have gone their separate ways
MY DEAR ELDERLY MOTHER
My dear elderly mother
Suffers with indigestion
Ironically her Gaviscon
Is on a repeat prescription
ARE YOU WEARING SPATS?
Are you wearing spats?
Like some old Chicago gangster
If you were told they were in vogue
Then you’re the butt of a prankster
21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 385
“As I was going up the stair
I met a man who wasn't there!
He wasn't there again today,
Damn that was some good Mary J”
BOOTS THE CHEMIST SUNDAY OPENING
11am to 9pm the sign read
But the opening time was well past
And we were left out in the cold
And their apathy left me aghast
The signage needs to be amended
And a new sign should be tasked
Open “When we can be bothered”
Until “We can no longer be asked”
ST PATRICKS DAY IS AN EXCUSE
St Patrick’s Day is an excuse
For girls to dress inappropriately
That’s why St Patrick’s Day
Is the best holiday for me
I went into hospital for minor surgery
And was fearful the procedure would be a botch
And as I was coming around I heard someone say
“Did anyone see what I did with my watch?”
WHAT NOT TO DO IN HORROR MOVIES # 1
When browsing the occult section
Of the library shelves
Never read aloud from a book
Of demon summoning spells
ARE YOU WEARING A BOILER SUIT?
Are you wearing a boiler suit?
Well it’s not the most flattering wear
But it does have a certain fascination as
I’m fascinated to know what’s under there
WHEN ASKED WHAT HE DID FOR A LIVING # 1
When asked what he did for a living
He replied furtively “I’m a spy”
When told he was dressed as a farmer
He added “I’m a shepherd Spy”
WHEN THE ALLSPICE SINGERS
When the allspice singers
Really went off the rails
Coryanda and star Anise
Had the Pepperatzi on their tails
A TEACHER HELD A SPELLING BEE
A teacher held a spelling bee and asked
“Kyle, how do you spell “crocodile?”“
“K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L” he said
“No, that's not the way to spell Crocodile”
Said the teacher “Maybe it’s wrong, but you
Asked me how I spell it” explained Kyle
THE PREFECT AND THE OIK
“Why are you always such a dirty little oik?”
The prefect asked
“You are the dirtiest pupil by far,
Look at me, I’m always clean and smart”
The boy replied
“I'm closer to the ground than you are”
INTERRUPTING ANNETTE
“Give me a sentence starting with “I”“
The teacher asked young Annette
“I is...” she began but teacher interrupted
“No, always say, “I am”, Annette”
The girl looked puzzled, but complied
“I am the ninth letter of the alphabet”
THE CAT ESSAY
The teacher said “your essay on “My cat”
Is exactly the same as your brother Matt’s,
Did you copy his work for your story?”
“No, miss, but it's the same cat” said Corey
ONE DIRECTION HAVE SPLIT UP
“One Direction” have split up
It seems nothing lasts these days
Ironically all the members
Have gone their separate ways
MY DEAR ELDERLY MOTHER
My dear elderly mother
Suffers with indigestion
Ironically her Gaviscon
Is on a repeat prescription
ARE YOU WEARING SPATS?
Are you wearing spats?
Like some old Chicago gangster
If you were told they were in vogue
Then you’re the butt of a prankster
21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 385
“As I was going up the stair
I met a man who wasn't there!
He wasn't there again today,
Damn that was some good Mary J”
BOOTS THE CHEMIST SUNDAY OPENING
11am to 9pm the sign read
But the opening time was well past
And we were left out in the cold
And their apathy left me aghast
The signage needs to be amended
And a new sign should be tasked
Open “When we can be bothered”
Until “We can no longer be asked”
ST PATRICKS DAY IS AN EXCUSE
St Patrick’s Day is an excuse
For girls to dress inappropriately
That’s why St Patrick’s Day
Is the best holiday for me
Tales of Love # 29
OH TO FEEL LOVES EXQUISITE ACHE
Oh to feel loves exquisite ache
To feel that desperate longing
Experiencing that naked want
Of being with them again, and
Feeling so alive in the torment
While craving the next fix
Of that heady foaming brew
Which will satisfy the longing
And quench the thirst of desire.
And when that significant soul
Who holds my captive heart,
Is but a kiss and caress away
I am dragged from sorrows
Unfathomable despairing depths
And bitter anguish evaporates
Like dew under the morning sun
Until euphoria fills every pore
And in that perfect ecstasy
That blissful state of love
I remain until I am once again
Alone with my desperate longing
HAIR OF HENNA
Hair of Henna
Falls untamed
Over pale flesh
Stark in contrast
Like a crimson rose
Against bridal white
WHEN HARRY MET SALLY (Rewrite)
Harry's mind wandered
As he wended his way
Through crowded streets
To a special someone
Anna was his new love
And he would see her that night
As he hurried along
He could smell her hair
Feel the softness of her skin
He could even taste her
And he longed for her
As he remembered
Her smile, her kiss
Her writhing body
Then Harry stepped off the curb
Oblivious to the danger
And was struck
By a car unseen
Tossing him like a rag doll
Depositing him unceremoniously
Between car and gutter
His body lay broken
And bleeding
Where it came to rest
On the unforgiving street
And the last image in his mind
Was not the killer car
But Anna his new love
As his life ebbed away
His heart beat its last
The paramedic's best efforts
Were to no avail
A moment's carelessness
Had cost a young life
And his heart beat no more
In his broken body
But would beat once more
In another's chest
And reanimate
To bring new hope
To rekindle another's existence
Bringing a new beginning for Sally
Who, like a phoenix
Rises from the ashes
Of her frailty at the price
Of another families grief
THE OLD RUSTIC STILE
The old rustic stile
At the end of the lane
Still stands like a memorial
Marking that special place
Where the fates conspired
That our souls should meet
Though on that day
We purposely trod opposing paths
But met at that rustic spot
And to help you cross
I took hold of your hand,
Small and silken soft
Guiding you safely to my side
Where you stood on terra firma
And despite the presence
Of our companions
We were to all intents
Quite alone as we stood
Hand in hand and in the moment
When hand touched hand
We at once beheld
Our lives from that point on
Would be forever altered
Our future journeys
Would be as fellow travellers
And we were content
With a shared destiny
The old rustic stile
At the end of the lane
Stands like a monument
Marking the place of alteration
A significant place
A spiritual place
A place often revisited
And on such sojourns
We find romantic renewal
As the energizing memory
Of that special moment
Of love at first sight
Assails our senses
Essentially invigorating
Like imbibing the waters
From the fountain of youth
And our hearts once again
Resound with joyousness
Sweet moments of romance
Those excited tingles
Of loves first passion
When hearts beat faster
And desire courses
Through every fibre
The thrill of blossoming love
Adding to the strata
Of our love, laid down
Through all our years together
So by returning to the place
Of loves wondrous inception
We keep our love alive
And in equal measure
Love returns the favour
Oh to feel loves exquisite ache
To feel that desperate longing
Experiencing that naked want
Of being with them again, and
Feeling so alive in the torment
While craving the next fix
Of that heady foaming brew
Which will satisfy the longing
And quench the thirst of desire.
And when that significant soul
Who holds my captive heart,
Is but a kiss and caress away
I am dragged from sorrows
Unfathomable despairing depths
And bitter anguish evaporates
Like dew under the morning sun
Until euphoria fills every pore
And in that perfect ecstasy
That blissful state of love
I remain until I am once again
Alone with my desperate longing
HAIR OF HENNA
Hair of Henna
Falls untamed
Over pale flesh
Stark in contrast
Like a crimson rose
Against bridal white
WHEN HARRY MET SALLY (Rewrite)
Harry's mind wandered
As he wended his way
Through crowded streets
To a special someone
Anna was his new love
And he would see her that night
As he hurried along
He could smell her hair
Feel the softness of her skin
He could even taste her
And he longed for her
As he remembered
Her smile, her kiss
Her writhing body
Then Harry stepped off the curb
Oblivious to the danger
And was struck
By a car unseen
Tossing him like a rag doll
Depositing him unceremoniously
Between car and gutter
His body lay broken
And bleeding
Where it came to rest
On the unforgiving street
And the last image in his mind
Was not the killer car
But Anna his new love
As his life ebbed away
His heart beat its last
The paramedic's best efforts
Were to no avail
A moment's carelessness
Had cost a young life
And his heart beat no more
In his broken body
But would beat once more
In another's chest
And reanimate
To bring new hope
To rekindle another's existence
Bringing a new beginning for Sally
Who, like a phoenix
Rises from the ashes
Of her frailty at the price
Of another families grief
THE OLD RUSTIC STILE
The old rustic stile
At the end of the lane
Still stands like a memorial
Marking that special place
Where the fates conspired
That our souls should meet
Though on that day
We purposely trod opposing paths
But met at that rustic spot
And to help you cross
I took hold of your hand,
Small and silken soft
Guiding you safely to my side
Where you stood on terra firma
And despite the presence
Of our companions
We were to all intents
Quite alone as we stood
Hand in hand and in the moment
When hand touched hand
We at once beheld
Our lives from that point on
Would be forever altered
Our future journeys
Would be as fellow travellers
And we were content
With a shared destiny
The old rustic stile
At the end of the lane
Stands like a monument
Marking the place of alteration
A significant place
A spiritual place
A place often revisited
And on such sojourns
We find romantic renewal
As the energizing memory
Of that special moment
Of love at first sight
Assails our senses
Essentially invigorating
Like imbibing the waters
From the fountain of youth
And our hearts once again
Resound with joyousness
Sweet moments of romance
Those excited tingles
Of loves first passion
When hearts beat faster
And desire courses
Through every fibre
The thrill of blossoming love
Adding to the strata
Of our love, laid down
Through all our years together
So by returning to the place
Of loves wondrous inception
We keep our love alive
And in equal measure
Love returns the favour
Tales of Love # 28
THAT RAINY SUNDAY
It’s a rainy Sunday
And I’m feeling blue
Remembering the past
And thinking of you
Do you happily look back?
Across the years
Or do you view them
Through bitter tears
Do you ever think of me?
Just once in a while
With a furrowed brow
Or rueful smile
You thought our love
Would last an eternity
But I was quite happy
Just to wait and see
I just wanted us
To enjoy the laughter
But what you wanted
Was happy ever after
I loved you so much more
Than I would ever say
When we broke up
On that rainy Sunday
When you asked me
I should have said
“I really do love you”
I just shrugged instead
I wish I could go back
To that rainy Sunday
I would get on my knees
And beg you to stay
HAIR OF GREY
Hair of grey
Falls untamed
Over blemished skin
In perfect complement
To graceful aging
And timeless beauty
THE BAD NEWS CAME
The news came,
As bad news does,
Out of the blue
At break neck speed
And hit me like a train
With deaths hateful sting
Numbing me to the core
Leaving me speechless
And too arid even to cry
Until the pain burst through
Bringing forth the bitter tears
As despair washed over me
Until I was drowning in sadness.
I sank in its frigid waters
To the depths of my soul
So bitter was the news
The loss so acute
I was broken in two
Lying beaten on the ground
I could feel no worse
I could sink no lower
Then like kicking an injured dog
I was struck by remorse
Like a tidal wave
A tsunami of regret
Knocking me off my feet
Why didn’t I tell her?
Why didn’t I say?
“I love you too”
LIFE’S SOJOURN
I held your hand
Though you did not know it
And I remembered
The first time I held it
That august day so long ago
When the magic passed between us
And I knew I had found my mate
It was such an innocuous action,
We were on the train
Two travelling strangers
As it rattled its way through Surrey
You were just getting to your feet
When the train lurched
And you fell back with a bump
I offered you my hand
Which you took and the die was cast
Our journey together began
Now your journey is nearly at its end
And I sit in vigil at your side
Where I will remain
Until life leaves your body
On that quiet final breath
And you make the next journey alone
I said to you when we were young
“I would love you all of your life"
And when you were still you,
Before the morphine took hold of you
You reminded me of it and said to me
“Will you still love me all of my life?”
With a crack in my voice I replied
“No I’ll love you for all of mine”
THE OLD RUSTIC STILE
The old rustic stile
At the end of the lane
Still stands like a memorial
Marking that special place
Where the fates conspired
That our souls should meet
Though on that day
We purposely trod opposing paths
But met at that rustic spot
And to help you cross
I took hold of your hand,
Small and silken soft
Guiding you safely to my side
Where you stood on terra firma
And despite the presence
Of our companions
We were to all intents
Quite alone as we stood
Hand in hand and in the moment
When hand touched hand
We at once beheld
Our lives from that point on
Would be forever altered
Our future journeys
Would be as fellow travellers
And we were content
With a shared destiny
The old rustic stile
At the end of the lane
Stands like a monument
Marking the place of alteration
A significant place
A spiritual place
A place often revisited
And on such sojourns
We find romantic renewal
As the energizing memory
Of that special moment
Of love at first sight
Assails our senses
Essentially invigorating
Like imbibing the waters
From the fountain of youth
And our hearts once again
Resound with joyousness
Sweet moments of romance
Those excited tingles
Of loves first passion
When hearts beat faster
And desire courses
Through every fibre
The thrill of blossoming love
Adding to the strata
Of our love, laid down
Through all our years together
So by returning to the place
Of loves wondrous inception
We keep our love alive
And in equal measure
Love returns the favour
It’s a rainy Sunday
And I’m feeling blue
Remembering the past
And thinking of you
Do you happily look back?
Across the years
Or do you view them
Through bitter tears
Do you ever think of me?
Just once in a while
With a furrowed brow
Or rueful smile
You thought our love
Would last an eternity
But I was quite happy
Just to wait and see
I just wanted us
To enjoy the laughter
But what you wanted
Was happy ever after
I loved you so much more
Than I would ever say
When we broke up
On that rainy Sunday
When you asked me
I should have said
“I really do love you”
I just shrugged instead
I wish I could go back
To that rainy Sunday
I would get on my knees
And beg you to stay
HAIR OF GREY
Hair of grey
Falls untamed
Over blemished skin
In perfect complement
To graceful aging
And timeless beauty
THE BAD NEWS CAME
The news came,
As bad news does,
Out of the blue
At break neck speed
And hit me like a train
With deaths hateful sting
Numbing me to the core
Leaving me speechless
And too arid even to cry
Until the pain burst through
Bringing forth the bitter tears
As despair washed over me
Until I was drowning in sadness.
I sank in its frigid waters
To the depths of my soul
So bitter was the news
The loss so acute
I was broken in two
Lying beaten on the ground
I could feel no worse
I could sink no lower
Then like kicking an injured dog
I was struck by remorse
Like a tidal wave
A tsunami of regret
Knocking me off my feet
Why didn’t I tell her?
Why didn’t I say?
“I love you too”
LIFE’S SOJOURN
I held your hand
Though you did not know it
And I remembered
The first time I held it
That august day so long ago
When the magic passed between us
And I knew I had found my mate
It was such an innocuous action,
We were on the train
Two travelling strangers
As it rattled its way through Surrey
You were just getting to your feet
When the train lurched
And you fell back with a bump
I offered you my hand
Which you took and the die was cast
Our journey together began
Now your journey is nearly at its end
And I sit in vigil at your side
Where I will remain
Until life leaves your body
On that quiet final breath
And you make the next journey alone
I said to you when we were young
“I would love you all of your life"
And when you were still you,
Before the morphine took hold of you
You reminded me of it and said to me
“Will you still love me all of my life?”
With a crack in my voice I replied
“No I’ll love you for all of mine”
THE OLD RUSTIC STILE
The old rustic stile
At the end of the lane
Still stands like a memorial
Marking that special place
Where the fates conspired
That our souls should meet
Though on that day
We purposely trod opposing paths
But met at that rustic spot
And to help you cross
I took hold of your hand,
Small and silken soft
Guiding you safely to my side
Where you stood on terra firma
And despite the presence
Of our companions
We were to all intents
Quite alone as we stood
Hand in hand and in the moment
When hand touched hand
We at once beheld
Our lives from that point on
Would be forever altered
Our future journeys
Would be as fellow travellers
And we were content
With a shared destiny
The old rustic stile
At the end of the lane
Stands like a monument
Marking the place of alteration
A significant place
A spiritual place
A place often revisited
And on such sojourns
We find romantic renewal
As the energizing memory
Of that special moment
Of love at first sight
Assails our senses
Essentially invigorating
Like imbibing the waters
From the fountain of youth
And our hearts once again
Resound with joyousness
Sweet moments of romance
Those excited tingles
Of loves first passion
When hearts beat faster
And desire courses
Through every fibre
The thrill of blossoming love
Adding to the strata
Of our love, laid down
Through all our years together
So by returning to the place
Of loves wondrous inception
We keep our love alive
And in equal measure
Love returns the favour
Tales of Love # 27
ABIGAIL’S TALE
In the comfort of the coffee shop
Nestled into an oversized sofa
Sits Abigail, homesick and sad
As she reads a letter from home
She knows the sadness will pass
And sooner this time than the last
It strikes each time she hears from home
With news from those she left behind
Her parents, always loving and kind
Her baby sister, annoyingly lovely
All of her friends of long standing
And of course him, the reason she left
She left her home and those she loved,
The only place she had ever lived
After her marriage dismally failed
So she is building a new life for herself
Away from the people she loves
And the places and all the familiarity
The things that reminded her daily
Of her failure and her inadequacies
So Abigail lives far away in a new town
And she is making new friends
Discovering new places that will be familiar
As she tries to forget past mistakes
She has joined a new church in town
A new congregation, where her angels voice
Can sing loudly in praise to heaven
And she is finding peace within herself
And one day very soon, Abigail will sit
In the comfort of the coffee shop
Nestled into an oversized sofa
And not be desperately homesick and sad
One day very soon Abigail will read
A long rambling letter from home
And smile at it familiar contents
And she will not feel the old pain strike
One day very soon in her new home
Abigail will allow herself be happy
One day very soon in her new home town
Abigail will forgive herself
HAIR OF TITIAN
Hair of Titian
Tumbles unchecked
Falling untamed
Over pale flesh
Like autumn leaves
Stark in contrast
Like blood drops
On a fall of snow
SHOULD I RUN?
I ask myself
Should I run to you?
And keep our secret tryst
For that sweet joy
Of being kissed
I ask myself
Should I run from you?
And protect my heart
But endure the pain
Of being apart
So I must ask myself
What joy exists
In sterile safety
Compared to being kissed
So I run to you
To the love and chemistry
And drown myself
In your sweet serenity
THOSE JOYFUL DAYS
Gone now is that joyful day
When we stood before God
Humble in his blessed presence
And we were joined as one
When everything lay ahead of us
Gone are those joyful days
Full of love and laughter
Days of tender moments
And heady nights of passion
When everything lay ahead of us
Gone are those joyful days
When we walked along the shore line
Happy, carefree and in love,
As we walked hand in hand
And everything lay ahead of us
Gone are those joyful days
When God blessed our union
And delivered perfect joy into our lives
As our little family grew
And we had everything we desired
Gone are those joyful days
When your smile lit up my life
And my heart overflowed with love for you
Before it was broken in two
And everything was taken from me
Gone are the joyful days
Since you have gone ahead of me
Now God has you by his side
And I will miss you until that day
When God has reunited us
I look forward to that joyful day
When we stand once more together
But though my heart is broken
I must delay our reunion
Our sweet children need me
And I must love them double now
GOLDEN LOVE
It was fifty years ago when I first saw her
When I fell for her beauty and her charm
And now in the autumn of our years
I’m still proud to have her on my arm
How long ago it was when we were young
When every minute we were parted
Was full of angst, agonies and torment
And time alone left us broken hearted
Now I could compose symphonies
And write lofty ballads to her name
I could write the sweetest love songs
And never express what are love became
I would have crossed the wildest seas
And walked on coals to be at her side
I would have slain the fiercest dragon
And fought duals to win her as my bride
I proclaimed my love to her as everlasting
And told her we would always be together
Through thick and thin, good times and bad
Through the calm and stormy weather
My heart soared as the church bells rang
When at the alter she stood and said I do
Now after fifty summers and winters
The love I proclaimed still holds true
In the comfort of the coffee shop
Nestled into an oversized sofa
Sits Abigail, homesick and sad
As she reads a letter from home
She knows the sadness will pass
And sooner this time than the last
It strikes each time she hears from home
With news from those she left behind
Her parents, always loving and kind
Her baby sister, annoyingly lovely
All of her friends of long standing
And of course him, the reason she left
She left her home and those she loved,
The only place she had ever lived
After her marriage dismally failed
So she is building a new life for herself
Away from the people she loves
And the places and all the familiarity
The things that reminded her daily
Of her failure and her inadequacies
So Abigail lives far away in a new town
And she is making new friends
Discovering new places that will be familiar
As she tries to forget past mistakes
She has joined a new church in town
A new congregation, where her angels voice
Can sing loudly in praise to heaven
And she is finding peace within herself
And one day very soon, Abigail will sit
In the comfort of the coffee shop
Nestled into an oversized sofa
And not be desperately homesick and sad
One day very soon Abigail will read
A long rambling letter from home
And smile at it familiar contents
And she will not feel the old pain strike
One day very soon in her new home
Abigail will allow herself be happy
One day very soon in her new home town
Abigail will forgive herself
HAIR OF TITIAN
Hair of Titian
Tumbles unchecked
Falling untamed
Over pale flesh
Like autumn leaves
Stark in contrast
Like blood drops
On a fall of snow
SHOULD I RUN?
I ask myself
Should I run to you?
And keep our secret tryst
For that sweet joy
Of being kissed
I ask myself
Should I run from you?
And protect my heart
But endure the pain
Of being apart
So I must ask myself
What joy exists
In sterile safety
Compared to being kissed
So I run to you
To the love and chemistry
And drown myself
In your sweet serenity
THOSE JOYFUL DAYS
Gone now is that joyful day
When we stood before God
Humble in his blessed presence
And we were joined as one
When everything lay ahead of us
Gone are those joyful days
Full of love and laughter
Days of tender moments
And heady nights of passion
When everything lay ahead of us
Gone are those joyful days
When we walked along the shore line
Happy, carefree and in love,
As we walked hand in hand
And everything lay ahead of us
Gone are those joyful days
When God blessed our union
And delivered perfect joy into our lives
As our little family grew
And we had everything we desired
Gone are those joyful days
When your smile lit up my life
And my heart overflowed with love for you
Before it was broken in two
And everything was taken from me
Gone are the joyful days
Since you have gone ahead of me
Now God has you by his side
And I will miss you until that day
When God has reunited us
I look forward to that joyful day
When we stand once more together
But though my heart is broken
I must delay our reunion
Our sweet children need me
And I must love them double now
GOLDEN LOVE
It was fifty years ago when I first saw her
When I fell for her beauty and her charm
And now in the autumn of our years
I’m still proud to have her on my arm
How long ago it was when we were young
When every minute we were parted
Was full of angst, agonies and torment
And time alone left us broken hearted
Now I could compose symphonies
And write lofty ballads to her name
I could write the sweetest love songs
And never express what are love became
I would have crossed the wildest seas
And walked on coals to be at her side
I would have slain the fiercest dragon
And fought duals to win her as my bride
I proclaimed my love to her as everlasting
And told her we would always be together
Through thick and thin, good times and bad
Through the calm and stormy weather
My heart soared as the church bells rang
When at the alter she stood and said I do
Now after fifty summers and winters
The love I proclaimed still holds true
Tales of Love # 26
THE WEEPING WILLOW TREE
Like the star-crossed lovers,
Romeo and Juliet,
They come from feuding kin
And must hide their love
From those closest to them,
So they meet in secret
Beside the quiet lake
At their secret place
To share a clandestine love
Where the only sounds,
Are of the faintest breeze
Disturbing the lofty tree tops
A gentle lapping of water
Against the bank
And ducks squabbling on the lake
But despite the quiet
They are fearful of discovery
As they embrace hidden from view
Beneath a weeping willow tree,
Its leafy pendulous branches
Trail down into the water
Where, stirred by the gentle breeze
They dip in an out of the water
Like the toes of a reluctant bather.
Despite their fear, the lovers
Kiss in the quiet shade
And feel at once renewed
No words are spoken
Their language is of caress and kiss
Such a tender converse
With limitless vocabulary
And languid pronunciation
Every syllable well employed
And when the final paragraph is reached
They end with perfect punctuation
And bask in its afterglow
Until they must once again stir
From their lovers languor
And sadly tread separate paths
To re-join their warring tribes
Adopting adversarial manners
No knowing looks to be exchanged
No casual brushing past
When for an exquisite moment
A hand might touch a hand
They must remain entrenched
With their warring clans
Until they can once again
Embrace beneath the weeping willow tree
HAIR OF AUBURN
Hair of Auburn
Falls untamed
Over pale flesh
Stark in contrast
Like a crimson rose
Against bridal white
GIGOLO AND GIGOLETTE
Right from the start
He lost his heart
When the gigolo met
His lovely gigolette
And Philandered no more
Now he had his paramour
LOVE WASHED OVER ME
Love washed over me
Arriving at my feet,
Like the lapping of waves
On a lonely beach
But it drifted away
On the ebb tide
LEFT ALONE
Tears stung her eyes
And her voice cracked
As she remembered
Her loss hung heavy
Since he, what?
Even now she can't say it
Could not utter the word
Euphemisms fill her head
Crossed over, left the world,
Gone to a better place
He's in the next room
Passed away
Other people can say dead
But she cannot
Seven years have passed
Since it happened, her loss
And she lost so much
A husband, lover, friend
Partner, confident
And Soul mate
And even now it hurt
Though the wound
Is an old one
It is still unhealed
Still vivid red, and angry
Time is a great healer
They said to help her
To comfort her
But she thinks they lied
Like the star-crossed lovers,
Romeo and Juliet,
They come from feuding kin
And must hide their love
From those closest to them,
So they meet in secret
Beside the quiet lake
At their secret place
To share a clandestine love
Where the only sounds,
Are of the faintest breeze
Disturbing the lofty tree tops
A gentle lapping of water
Against the bank
And ducks squabbling on the lake
But despite the quiet
They are fearful of discovery
As they embrace hidden from view
Beneath a weeping willow tree,
Its leafy pendulous branches
Trail down into the water
Where, stirred by the gentle breeze
They dip in an out of the water
Like the toes of a reluctant bather.
Despite their fear, the lovers
Kiss in the quiet shade
And feel at once renewed
No words are spoken
Their language is of caress and kiss
Such a tender converse
With limitless vocabulary
And languid pronunciation
Every syllable well employed
And when the final paragraph is reached
They end with perfect punctuation
And bask in its afterglow
Until they must once again stir
From their lovers languor
And sadly tread separate paths
To re-join their warring tribes
Adopting adversarial manners
No knowing looks to be exchanged
No casual brushing past
When for an exquisite moment
A hand might touch a hand
They must remain entrenched
With their warring clans
Until they can once again
Embrace beneath the weeping willow tree
HAIR OF AUBURN
Hair of Auburn
Falls untamed
Over pale flesh
Stark in contrast
Like a crimson rose
Against bridal white
GIGOLO AND GIGOLETTE
Right from the start
He lost his heart
When the gigolo met
His lovely gigolette
And Philandered no more
Now he had his paramour
LOVE WASHED OVER ME
Love washed over me
Arriving at my feet,
Like the lapping of waves
On a lonely beach
But it drifted away
On the ebb tide
LEFT ALONE
Tears stung her eyes
And her voice cracked
As she remembered
Her loss hung heavy
Since he, what?
Even now she can't say it
Could not utter the word
Euphemisms fill her head
Crossed over, left the world,
Gone to a better place
He's in the next room
Passed away
Other people can say dead
But she cannot
Seven years have passed
Since it happened, her loss
And she lost so much
A husband, lover, friend
Partner, confident
And Soul mate
And even now it hurt
Though the wound
Is an old one
It is still unhealed
Still vivid red, and angry
Time is a great healer
They said to help her
To comfort her
But she thinks they lied
Tales of Love # 25
FORGOTTEN?
I had forgotten her
I had forgotten
The way she looked
With her bright elfin face
And brown soulful eyes
I had forgotten
The sound of her voice
With its sweet honeyed tones
And her infectious laughter
It had been hard
But I had forgotten her
I had forgotten
The smell of her hair
The taste of her lips
The touch of her skin
I had forgotten her completely
She was off my radar
My senses were free of her
Free of her intoxication
Free of her narcotic
It had taken months
Going cold turkey
To cleanse myself, to detox
To shake her from my consciousness
And exorcise her from my soul
But I had forgotten her
I had forgotten her
By changing jobs
Decorating the house
And ridding myself of everything
That reminded me of her
And I was free
My life was once more on an even keel
The stormy seas had been quelled
All was calm and safe
And there was such comfort
In feeling safe
The wounds had healed
Though the scars remained
I had peace of mind
When I could say
I had forgotten her
And I had forgotten her
Until that fateful day
When I found it
Down the side of the sofa
A small pearl button
Such an innocuous item
Evoking such potent memories
Of a violet lamb’s wool sweater
That accentuated her breasts so well
The button was a casualty
Of an intimate encounter
Discarded in our passionate haste
And in that instance of recognition
She was all at once back with me
My senses reawakened
Her scent was in my nostrils
I could feel her lips on mine
Her caress on my cheek
I could hear her infectious laughter
And I saw her sitting beside me
Close enough to touch
And as the wounds reopened
I realised to my dismay that
I had not forgotten her
I had not forgotten her
I had just shut down
Disabled my interface with the world
I hid away in my castle
And pulled up the draw bridge
And created my own world within
I held the button in my fingers
As the drawbridge lowered
And my castle walls fell
And the world flooded in
That little pearl button
Spoke to me in volumes
And I knew I loved her still
HAIR OF MAHOGANY
Hair of Mahogany
Tumbles unchecked
Over freckled skin
In perfect complement
Like forest fronds
In a dappled glade
THE NIGHT OF FIRSTS
I dreamt last night
About our night of firsts
And I saw everything with such clarity
Though it was many years ago
All the sights, sounds, tastes, smells,
And of course, touch
It was such a special night
Our night of firsts
Principally it was our first date
And the first time we held hands
It was as I walked you home
Along the orchard lane
And then of course
Beneath the cherry tree
We shared our first kiss
On that late spring evening
When the air was full of perfume
And we heard the birdsong
As we gazed into each other’s eyes
Then our lips touched
And our fate was sealed
For at that moment
On our night of firsts
We fell in love
From that moment on
And all the days of our lives
Our love has lasted
And though I am alone now
And I can only kiss you in my dreams
When my time comes
We will meet again
And we will walk hand in hand
Along the orchard lane
And kiss once more
Beneath the cherry tree
THE LOVE IN US
The love in me
Touches your heart and soul
And I feel a love divine
The love in you
Touches my heart and soul
And we share a love divine
The love in us
Binds us body and soul
And we bask in a love divine
I FOUND MY ONE TRUE LOVE
I found my one true love
My soulmate and when
I first laid eyes on her
My eyes saw only beauty
And at once I heard music
Where there was clearly none
But I heard it nonetheless
I could tell she heard it too
And she smiled at its significance
So I returned the smile
To my heart’s desire
And then we were caught-up
In an all embracing kiss
And our love is still singing
I had forgotten her
I had forgotten
The way she looked
With her bright elfin face
And brown soulful eyes
I had forgotten
The sound of her voice
With its sweet honeyed tones
And her infectious laughter
It had been hard
But I had forgotten her
I had forgotten
The smell of her hair
The taste of her lips
The touch of her skin
I had forgotten her completely
She was off my radar
My senses were free of her
Free of her intoxication
Free of her narcotic
It had taken months
Going cold turkey
To cleanse myself, to detox
To shake her from my consciousness
And exorcise her from my soul
But I had forgotten her
I had forgotten her
By changing jobs
Decorating the house
And ridding myself of everything
That reminded me of her
And I was free
My life was once more on an even keel
The stormy seas had been quelled
All was calm and safe
And there was such comfort
In feeling safe
The wounds had healed
Though the scars remained
I had peace of mind
When I could say
I had forgotten her
And I had forgotten her
Until that fateful day
When I found it
Down the side of the sofa
A small pearl button
Such an innocuous item
Evoking such potent memories
Of a violet lamb’s wool sweater
That accentuated her breasts so well
The button was a casualty
Of an intimate encounter
Discarded in our passionate haste
And in that instance of recognition
She was all at once back with me
My senses reawakened
Her scent was in my nostrils
I could feel her lips on mine
Her caress on my cheek
I could hear her infectious laughter
And I saw her sitting beside me
Close enough to touch
And as the wounds reopened
I realised to my dismay that
I had not forgotten her
I had not forgotten her
I had just shut down
Disabled my interface with the world
I hid away in my castle
And pulled up the draw bridge
And created my own world within
I held the button in my fingers
As the drawbridge lowered
And my castle walls fell
And the world flooded in
That little pearl button
Spoke to me in volumes
And I knew I loved her still
HAIR OF MAHOGANY
Hair of Mahogany
Tumbles unchecked
Over freckled skin
In perfect complement
Like forest fronds
In a dappled glade
THE NIGHT OF FIRSTS
I dreamt last night
About our night of firsts
And I saw everything with such clarity
Though it was many years ago
All the sights, sounds, tastes, smells,
And of course, touch
It was such a special night
Our night of firsts
Principally it was our first date
And the first time we held hands
It was as I walked you home
Along the orchard lane
And then of course
Beneath the cherry tree
We shared our first kiss
On that late spring evening
When the air was full of perfume
And we heard the birdsong
As we gazed into each other’s eyes
Then our lips touched
And our fate was sealed
For at that moment
On our night of firsts
We fell in love
From that moment on
And all the days of our lives
Our love has lasted
And though I am alone now
And I can only kiss you in my dreams
When my time comes
We will meet again
And we will walk hand in hand
Along the orchard lane
And kiss once more
Beneath the cherry tree
THE LOVE IN US
The love in me
Touches your heart and soul
And I feel a love divine
The love in you
Touches my heart and soul
And we share a love divine
The love in us
Binds us body and soul
And we bask in a love divine
I FOUND MY ONE TRUE LOVE
I found my one true love
My soulmate and when
I first laid eyes on her
My eyes saw only beauty
And at once I heard music
Where there was clearly none
But I heard it nonetheless
I could tell she heard it too
And she smiled at its significance
So I returned the smile
To my heart’s desire
And then we were caught-up
In an all embracing kiss
And our love is still singing
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