A Little Bit Of Humour # 87

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 361

A Frog he went a courting,
Well it’s not like he has
Anything else to do since
He lost the French Presidency

ARE YOU WEARING A MANKINI?

Are you wearing a mankini?
Well the coverage is teeny
And you’re as fat as Mussolini
And I can see you’re weeny

IF YOUR BLIND DATE IS DESCRIBED TO YOU # 9

If your blind date is described to you
As “Wanting a Soulmate” then watch out
Because it will be worse than it sounds
They’ll be a stalker without a doubt

LIFE’S VEXATIONS # 7

I hate it when buying sunglasses
When I find a pair I want to try
And that stupid little plastic thing
Dangles right in front of my eye

FROSTY THE SNOWMAN DIVORCED HIS WIFE

Frosty the snowman divorced his wife
As the marriage was a mistake
He decided to divorce his wife
After he found out she was a flake

HOORAY HENRYS AND HENRIETTA’S

Hooray Henrys and Henrietta’s
Don’t act like our social better’s
The so called cream of society
Can’t even achieve regular sobriety

Flaunting their wealth and partying
They’re behaviour makes me sick
And they’re only really the cream
Because they are all rich and thick

IT WAS A FLAMBOYANT THING

It was a flamboyant thing
With a corresponding price tag
But a Black Forest Gateaux
Was really a sponge cake in drag

SINCE YOU WALKED OUT ON ME

Since you walked out on me
As an act of defiance
Each morning I sit and eat
Breakfast in my pants
But I have discovered
Its little consolation
And I actually miss
Your personal hygiene rants

COACH JOSÉ MOURINHO

Coach José Mourinho
Likes to strut and preen
But doesn’t like to lose
And likes to cause a scene
He’s always crying foul
As he’s a real drama queen

I AM BY NO MEANS PERFECT, BUT

I am by no means perfect, but my wife
Has a particularly dirty habit
Which she won’t like me mentioning
As it involves a rampant rabbit

YOU CAN KEEP YOUR GOLDEN DELICIOUS

You can keep your Golden Delicious
I don’t want to eat them anymore
I want a flavour that isn’t fleeting
So a Cox’s apple is quality to the core

DOLPHINS SUFFER FROM ERECTILE DYSFUNCTION

Dolphins suffer from Erectile Dysfunction
And their sex life has come a cropper
Not much is known about their condition
But they’ve gone from Flipper to Flopper