21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 353
Bobby Shafto's gone to sea
Sailing away consume with glee
To escape the Child Support Agency
ARE YOU WEARING A CONFUSED EXPRESSION?
Are you wearing a confused expression?
Why is it beyond you comprehension?
That “Yes” and “No” are quite acceptable
Answers to almost every question
IF YOUR BLIND DATE IS DESCRIBED TO YOU # 1
If your blind date is described to you
As “Thoughtful” it’s not the best start
As their thoughtfulness will only extend
To saying "Excuse me" when they fart
WE HAVE LOVED EGGS # 1
We have loved eggs
Since we were children
My dad used to call them
POPPY DOUBTED HER HUSBAND’S FIDELITY # 1
Poppy doubted her husband’s fidelity
And always subjected him to a quiz
Afterwards she was left wondering
If the baby she was carrying was his
WHY CAN'T ORPHANS PLAY BASEBALL?
Why can't orphans play baseball?
At the Hubert H. Humphrey Metrodome?
Well they say it’s nothing personal
It’s just that they can't find home
APPLE ARE GOING TO MAKE A CAR
Apple are going to make a car
But the one thing nobody knows
Is whether or not the iCar
Is going to have Windows
HAVING SEX IN AN ELEVATOR?
Having sex in an elevator?
Those dirty little devils
That kind of behaviour
Is wrong on so many levels
NEW BABIES ARE DELIVERED BY STORK?
New babies are delivered by stork?
Not that old chestnut again
Small babies may arrive by stork
But the big ones need a crane
WHEN YOU WALK INTO THE BATHROOM
When you walk into the bathroom
When you walk out of the bathroom
But while you are in the bathroom
ARE YOU WEARING A SWEATER VEST?
Are you wearing a sweater vest?
Are you doing some kind of test?
Checking how observant people are
And see who notices this faux pas
21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 341
Ding, dong, bell,
Pussy’s in the well.
Who put it in?
I did, because
It’s the neighbourhood bully