Recently I had
A ballooning holiday
- I put on four stones
Saturday 1 July 2023
OLIVIA DE HAVILLAND
As an iconic film Heroine
Livvie graced the silver
screen
And in Tinsel Towns
heyday
She was a Hollywood
queen
But Olivia Mary de
Havilland
Was born in Tokyo
Japan
And aged one hundred
and four
She passed away as a
Parisian
Star of the celluloid
firmament
Is now a star in
heaven
July 1st 1916 to July
25th 2020
THE POLICE FOUND A BODY
A body was found in a drain
That someone tried to
hide
The police suspect
foul play
And have ruled out Sewercide
SHOPLIFTERS ARE A SCOURGE
Shoplifters are a scourge
Stealing goods from
the shelves
So, Shoplifters
Anonymous
Helps people to help
themselves
IF YOU GIVE A MAN A DUCK
If you give a man a duck
He’ll eat very well
for a day
But if you teach a man
to duck
You’ll keep head
trauma at bay
THE GREATEST LIES OF LIFE
No, your bum doesn’t look big in that
Money isn't everything
How funny, I was just
going to call you
I'm only going to put
it in a little way
I've never done this
before
They’ll ride up with
wear
The cheque's in the post
Anticipation is half
the fun
This will hurt me more
than it hurts you
I promise I won't
finish in you
This won't hurt, I
promise
No, I can’t see the
join
Uh yes, it’s very
slimming
WE HAVE DRINKS AT KARATE
We have drinks at Karate
But we don’t drink
Saki
As the drink of choice
At the Dojo is Kara
tea
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