72 Miles From The Sea

Sunday 1 January 2023

If as they say, Marriage is a war

Then it’s the only war as far as I can see

Where, as one of the protagonists

You get to sleep with the enemy

If I have a fight wife my wife, I think

“Don't take your troubles to bed”,

So, I follow the advice to the letter

And sleep with someone else instead

What is an Australian kiss?

Do you ever wonder?

Well, it’s the same as a French kiss,

Only it’s down under.

When I first heard about a selfie stick

I thought to myself “that sounds good”

But when I eventually got to see one

It was obvious I had misunderstood

I had breakfast with an Ornithologist

And I thought the waiter made a mistake

But it turned out it was me who was wrong

He really had ordered some Corn Crake

Are you wearing blue lipstick?

Then you must be a Dutch chick

Because I’ve heard the song Ma’am

About blue lips from Amsterdam

Apple are building a new HQ

Its secret design, nobody knows

But one thing we know for sure

The office won’t have windows