FRANKENSTEIN PHYSICIANS

 

Plastic surgeons have the expertise

To enhance breasts into a feature

But disproportionate enhancement

Makes for an odd-looking creature

THEY’RE ON THE MOVE

 

They’re on the move

Within the silk

They rock and roll

And tip and tilt

 

So, I must reach inside

Your dressing gown

Then I’ll grab on

And hold them down

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 83

 

Higgledy, piggledy, my pet hen

She lays eggs for gentlemen

Well actually well all said and done

She’s an Essex hen and lays for anyone

SEXUAL PREFERENCES # 18

 

I don’t have a favourite;

I love each and every one

Whether happy or sad

Cheerful or glum

 

I love TaTa Tara

And poor Dorr

Trim Miriam

And say more Gaynor

 

I love stiff Steph

And better Greta

Madeira Vera

And skeleta Nicolleta

 

I love Pizzeria Pia

And green Jean

World Wide Web Deb

And Chlorine Maureen

JUICY LUCY

 

Juicy Lucy

Game and goosey

Lucy loosey

What a watusi

Juicy Lucy

Loosey goosey

SPECIAL DELIVERY

 

There stood I, naked, in phallic splendour

Ready to give service roughly or tender

Suitably aroused for a service to render

“I have a special delivery here for Brenda”

And she marked it cruelly “Return to sender”

SHAMELESS SHAZZA

 

We must pay her now

A King’s ransom

A sum in the millions

So quite handsome

 

And for what exactly

Sacking her unfairly?

Or more accurately

For sacking her too early

 

She’ll take the money

Without a thought for Peter

For shameless Shazza

Thinks she’s the victim