I READ HORROR BOOKS

 

I read horror books for entertainment

But I have to read them in Braille

I always know what is about to happen

I can feel it, every time without fail

UN-POPPED CORN

I think I’m going to eat a whole bag

Of un-popped corn just before I die,

That should liven up the cremation

And make mourners Laugh instead of cry 

MY SON SPENDS TOO MUCH TIME PLAYING COMPUTER GAMES

 

My son spends too much time

Playing computer games

On his various devices

So, I said when I was his age

I had to do my homework

By the light of the fireplaces

He then pointed out when Lincoln

Was my age he was already

President of the United States

I WAS ASKED AT MY INTERVIEW

 

I was asked at my interview

If I could perform under pressure

I replied “No but I can do a mean

Bohemian Rhapsody for sure”

I WENT ONLINE TODAY AND ORDERED A CHICKEN

 

I went online today and ordered a Chicken

And my wife ordered an Egg on Amazon

I guess we’ll get the answer to the conundrum

HOW GOOD IS YOUR POWERPOINT

“How good is your PowerPoint?”

He enquired “I Excel at it” I replied

“Did you just use a Microsoft pun?”

He asked wryly “Word” I replied

DON’T GO IN THERE

 

“Don’t go in there” my wife screamed

“Don’t go in the church you moron”

She drunkenly screamed at the TV

It was clear she had the wedding video on