INSIDE EVERY SINGLE RUSSIAN DOLL

 

Inside every single Russian Doll

There are even more Russian Dolls

If you listen you can hear them shout

As they scream in unison to be let out

SOCIAL DISTANCING AND SELF ISOLATION

 

Social distancing and self-isolation

Is not a difficult thing to implement

When you’re in Wormwood Scrubs

And placed in solitary confinement

WE HAVE FOUND A GREEN SOLUTION

 

Since the panic buying caper

We have started using

Plant leaves as toilet paper

They're not our plants,

But they are very useful

And we returned the pots

I must say that to be truthful

To the neighbour's patio

Once the pots were full

A MESSAGE TO SNOWFLAKES

 

Your grandparents

And great grandparents

Were asked to go to war

You are being asked

To sit on your sofas

So not exactly a chore

DING DONG EMAIL

 

If you get an email with Ding Dong

In the subject, delete it without hesitation

As it will be from the Jehovah’s Witnesses

Working from home for the duration

ARE YOU WEARING SPANX AGAIN?

 

Are you wearing spanx again?

But they cause you so much pain

When they’re on you look smart

But they restrict your ability to fart

BEST BEFORE 1980 # 5

 

I spend half an hour searching

for my glasses beside the bed

Only to discover find that they

were on the top of my head