ARE YOU WEARING A SELF-SATISFIED EXPRESSION?

 

Are you wearing a self-satisfied expression?

It’s what I would expect from a banker

But in short what I’m actually saying

Is that I just think you’re a wanker

ORACLE OF DIONE AND ZEUS

 

Oracle of Dione and Zeus

At Dodona in Epirus

Apollo’s temple at Didyma

On the coast of Asia Minor,

Or at Corinth and Bassae

In the Peloponnese,

And Delos and Aegina

In the Aegean Sea

THE FLATULENT CLOWN

 

At my son’s birthday party we had

A flatulent Clown, called Bunny,

Who lacked control, and every time

The Clown farted, it smelt funny

SPAM ON THE HIGH SEAS

 

Not even Pirates are immune to spam

And are subject to regular assault

Asking “Have you been involved

In a shipwreck that wasn’t your fault”

AFTER FIFTY YEARS OF SMOKING

After fifty years of smoking

And being a whisky connoisseur

Life has taken its toll on me

And I’m called the Hoarse Whisperer

TWITTER STORM

 

The definition of a Twitter Storm

When opposing forces clash

Occurs at a time when Russian Bots

Oppose each other and talk trash

WHEN I WAS INTRODUCED TO MY HUSBAND

 

When I was introduced to my husband

I was told he was very well-to-do

Or so I thought, but I clearly misheard 

The truth was he had some welding to do