I WAS INVITED TO A PRETENDERS GIG

 

I was invited to a Pretenders gig

And wasn’t sure how to react

I really like live music performance

But didn’t want to see a tribute act

I WAS DRINKING IN A BAR WHEN

 

I was drinking in a bar when

A Smurf walked into view

And the smiling bartender

Said 'hey man why so blue?'

MY WIFE WANTED TO GO AND SEE THE CURE

 

My wife wanted to go and see the Cure

And was surprised at my apprehension

Wondering why I didn’t want to see the Cure

I said I’d rather see the Prevention

ARE YOU WEARING A BALL GOWN?

 

Are you wearing a ball gown?

And it’s a designer one too

Well, you’re a bit over dressed

For feeding time at the zoo

MY DAD IS JUST LIKE A LAPTOP

 

My dad is just like a laptop,

If you interact with him and stop

And for ten minutes don’t make a peep

He will always go to sleep

I STILL FERVENTLY BELIEVE IN SAME SEX MARRIAGE

 

I still fervently believe in same sex marriage

Because there has been a disparity for gay people

Which in the 21st century is totally unacceptable

They deserve to be as miserable as straight people

I DON’T KNOW EXACTLY WHAT OBE STANDS FOR

 

I don’t know exactly what OBE stands for

It’s one of those honours list pleasantries

But it would seem that if you’ve got one

You were a child molester in the Seventies