THE SMOKING OF ELECTRONIC CIGARETTES

 

The smoking of electronic cigarettes

Should only be done if you are a robot

And even then it should only happen

When it has just had sex with another robot

MY BROTHERS SPEND ALL OF THEIR TIME

 

My brothers spend all of their time

Floating out at sea on aquatic toys

They float from dawn until dusk

But I suppose boys will be buoys

THERE ARE AN EVIL GROUP OF MEN

 

There are an evil group of men

Who abide in shadows darkly

And control all the world’s cheese

They are known as the hallouminati

MY WIFE TOLD ME OVER BREAKFAST

 

My wife told me over breakfast

That sex was better on holiday

It took me completely by surprise

As the postcard only arrived that day

THE HOKEY COKEY # 3

 

I’m learning the Hokey Cokey

After all that’s what it’s all about

I haven’t learned it all just yet 

But I’ve got all the ins and outs

I ALWAYS LIKE TO HOLD HANDS

 

I always like to hold hands

When I go to the pictures

Which for some reason

Seems to surprise strangers

MY AUNT WAS THIRTY WHEN SHE LOST HER VIRGINITY

 

My Aunt was thirty when she lost her virginity

She had left it so late as the act was so dreaded

But was relieved when it had finally happened,

And wasn’t so much deflowered as deadheaded