GYNAECOLOGICAL SCARE

 

My older sister managed

To scare her gynaecologist

But that’s one of the perks

Of being a ventriloquist

PORN STAR TIPPLE

 

I worked in a cocktail bar where

A porn star was a regular imbiber

And erotic film star Bambi’s favourite

Drink Was 7 Up in cider

THE MUSIC TEACHER WAS FOUND GUILTY

 

The music teacher was found guilty

And put on the sex offenders register

He was giving guitar lessons and

Was arrested for fingering A minor

I WAS SCARRED DURING MY FIRST TIME

 

I was scarred during my first time

And made me think I was still a virgin

I thought I was doing fine until she said

Those three dreaded words, “Is it in?”

THERE WAS A FIGHT AT THE CIRCUS

 

There was a fight at the circus

Between a clown and a mugger

The fight didn’t last for long

Once they went for the juggler

COULD JESUS HAVE BEEN ITALIAN?

 

Could Jesus have been Italian?

Maybe, as he reputedly used olive oil

He did have wine with all His meals

And he did talk with His hands after all

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 435

 

Old King Cole

Was a merry old soul,

But when he sobered up

He was an arsehole