PERFECT CREATION

 

A man said to his wife one day, in the heat of an argument,

“How can you be stupid and beautiful in equal measure?” 

“God made me beautiful, so you would be attracted to me, and

He made me stupid, so you would be someone I’d treasure”

MARITAL FORTUNES

“Would you have married me if

My father hadn't left me a fortune?”

A newly married man asked his wife,

While they were on honeymoon

She replied sweetly “I'd have married you,

No matter who left you a fortune!”   

SHARING BURDENS

She said “When we get married,

I want to share all your worries,

Troubles and lighten your burden”

“But I don’t have any burden”

He pointed out “or worries, pet”

She said “no, but we aren't married yet”

OMNIBUS ETIQUETTE

 

“When I was on the bus with Dad,

He told me to give up my seat to a lady”   

A little boy told his mum “good boy

You were right to listen to your daddy”

“But mum you don’t understand”

He said “I was sitting on daddy's knee”   

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 432

Little Jack Horner

Sat in the corner,

Eating Christmas pie

As he sat on his bum

He pulled out his thumb,

And poked himself in the eye

ARE YOU WEARING YELLOW?

 

Are you wearing yellow?    

A brave choice for one so sallow

With thick wrinkled skin like a Tangelo

But for all that you seem quite mellow

So why are you wearing yellow?

Oh, you’re that Vince Cable fellow

MARITAL EXPECTATION

 

My wife kept hinting about the gift

She wanted for our anniversary

She said, “I want something shiny

That goes from 0 to 150

In about 3 seconds will do me”

And this was repeated in detail

As the anniversary neared

So, he bought her a bathroom scale