HE WAS GOING ON A BLIND DATE

 

He was going on a blind date

And was in a very nervous state

About meeting someone new

And was not sure what to do

What if he was out classed?   

What if she left him aghast?

 

He panicked when he saw her

Because she was even lovelier

He found after he arrived there

She began talking about a Polar Bear

And she rambled on more and more

Which she eventually apologized for

And laughed at his reaction

And explained the reason for her action

Stating they were converse makers

As Polar Bears were real ice breakers

A STRESSED-OUT MOTHER AND HER CHILD

 

A stressed-out mother and her child

Went into the fancy dress shop

Rushing around from pillar to post

Without a moments pause or stop

“Here try this one” the mother said

Grabbing a Devils suit in a whirl

Her six year old daughter retorted

“I don’t want it, I’m not an evil girl”

HE WAS HARD AS NAILS

 

He was hard as nails,

And the man terrified me

His reputation is the fact,

Supported by Testimony,

That he once jogged home

After having a vasectomy

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 421

 

Mary had a little lamp

Its beam was all aglow

It led the way to the abattoir

Where the sheep had to go

ARE YOU WEARING RED? # 1

 

Are you wearing red?

And standing at the foot of my bed

I hope that means you’re Santa

And not Jeremy Corbyn instead

ROSENCRANTZ AND GUILDENSTERN # 7

 

Rosencrantz and Guildenstern

I can confirm are deceased no more

Though close enough, as they are

Hosting Bake Off on Channel 4

GUN CONTROL

 

“Guns don’t kill people” is what that say

And it’s true, people do kill people, per se

But people kill people, all said and done

Much more efficiently if they have a gun