ROSENCRANTZ AND GUILDENSTERN # 7

 

Rosencrantz and Guildenstern

I can confirm are deceased no more

Though close enough, as they are

Hosting Bake Off on Channel 4

GUN CONTROL

 

“Guns don’t kill people” is what that say

And it’s true, people do kill people, per se

But people kill people, all said and done

Much more efficiently if they have a gun

DO AS PHYLLIS SAID

 

Do as Phyllis said

And don’t take flight

When you have a row

Last thing at night.

Don't go to bed mad,

Stay up and fight

 

In Memory of The Late Great Phyllis Diller (1917-2012)

THE ROWDY CROWD AT THE RODEO

 

The rowdy crowd at the Rodeo

Undermined the mediocre choirs morale

Until the point that shots were fired

In the gunfight at the okay Chorale

MY WIFE WANTED BREAST AUGMENTATION

 

My wife wanted breast augmentation

Because she was completely flat

And I wanted to get an Eagle Tattoo

So, we negotiated, kind of, Tit for Tat

WHAT DOES A TIME TRAVELLER DO

What does a time traveller do

When hunger beckons

It’s a simple enough solution

He goes back four seconds 

MY BROTHER IS A PESSIMIST # 2

 

My brother is a pessimist

With all his nay-saying

And a glass half full guy

With his catastrophising