72 Miles From The Sea

Thursday, 2 March 2023

I went into hospital for minor surgery

The staff did not fill me with a sense of security

As I was coming around I heard someone say

“I hope this patient has already had a family”

Being English we like to think that

Australians have no refinement at all

But today they are not without culture

They have Greek yogurt now after all

I had heard that there was such a thing

As sophisticated North Americans

And I have to admit when I heard that

I assumed they were talking about Canadians

Was the first man Adam, an Englishman?

There’s a question with which to grapple

As he was stood next to a naked woman

And he had thoughts only about the apple

There was once a Dutchman

Who made inflatable togs

It was only a short career

As he popped his clogs

He was interviewed for the job

Of an insect packer of bugs and thrips

He answered all the questions

And in the end boxed all the ticks

I went into hospital for minor surgery

And all the staff did was make me worse

As I was going under I heard the surgeon say

“No I said remove his spectacles nurse”