ARE YOU WEARING SENSIBLE FOOTWEAR?

Are you wearing Sensible Footwear?

They are a kind of stout boot

And with your skinny legs

I think you look rather cute

ARE YOU WEARING CONVERSE?

 

Are you wearing Converse?

Footwear for casual strolls

You know when I was a boy

They were called plimsolls

I USED TO WORK IN A PLANT

 

I used to work in a plant

Specialising in shoe-recycling

And I hated every minute

It was utterly sole-destroying

THERE WAS ONCE A DUTCHMAN

There was once a Dutchman

Who made inflatable togs

It was only a short career

As he popped his clogs  

ELEVATED SHOE

My latest girlfriend

Wears an elevated shoe

Just on one foot though

But that’s Eileen for you 

ARE YOU WEARING SEVEN INCH HEELS?

 

Are you wearing seven-inch heels?

As you’re tottering down the street

But don’t you feel silly standing

Six foot two in your stocking feet

YOU HAVE THIRTY PAIRS

 

You have thirty pairs

Of shoes, more or less

And standing in the room

In obvious distress

Won’t make me choose

No matter how much you press

The appropriate pair

To go with that dress