72 Miles From The Sea

Wednesday, 22 February 2023

I went into hospital for minor surgery

And the surgeons were a couple of arses

One of them said to the other “I bet now

You wish you hadn't forgotten your glasses.”

Jean Pierre coated his French Letters

In the famous orange liqueur digestive

His girlfriend liked flavoured condoms

He called them his Cointreau-ceptives

The chicken and the egg

Lay in the afterglow

He lit a cigarette and said

“Well now we know”

I’ve started planning my holiday

Last year I went to the Canary Islands

And didn’t see a single canary

So, this year I’m going to the Virgin Islands

A man wanted to go swimming

With sharks when the flags flew red

Of course you can do it at a price

But it could cost an arm and a leg

We went to the seaside

And it was so grim

Even the tide was reluctant

To come back in

I won a round the world trip,

All-expenses paid

But my wife wanted to go

Elsewhere I’m afraid