I’VE STARTED PLANNING MY HOLIDAY

 

I’ve started planning my holiday

Last year I went to the Canary Islands

And didn’t see a single canary

So, this year I’m going to the Virgin Islands

A MAN WANTED TO GO SWIMMING

 

A man wanted to go swimming

With sharks when the flags flew red

Of course you can do it at a price

But it could cost an arm and a leg

WE WENT TO THE SEASIDE

 

We went to the seaside

And it was so grim

Even the tide was reluctant

To come back in

I WON AN ALL-EXPENSES PAID

I won a round the world trip,

All-expenses paid

But my wife wanted to go

Elsewhere I’m afraid 

WHAT DO YOU CALL THE DAY?

 

What do you call the day?

That comes after Ash Wednesday

And before kissing Friday

Well, we just call it Thursday

ASH WEDNESDAY

 

There is a religious reason

Why it is a significant day

But cremated pancake on the hob

Is the only ash around our way

AN UMBRELLA WAS LIKE A PANCAKE

 

Granddad always said, an umbrella was like

A pancake, but I didn’t know what he meant?

I only found out many years later that it was

Because they were seldom seen after lent