72 Miles From The Sea

Friday, 17 February 2023

My wife says I can’t multitask

But she is in error it seems to me

As I can waste time, be unproductive,

And procrastinate simultaneously

I went into hospital for minor surgery

And the anaesthetist was a bit of a clown

“Accept this sacrifice, O Lord of Darkness”

He said as I was lying there in my gown

I went to the Ukraine

With my girlfriend Bev

And I ate a Chicken Kiev

With my chick in Kiev

When we were kids in the autumn

My brother would hide from view

Beneath a pile of fresh fallen leaves

But hey that was Russell for you

My girlfriend works in a Chinese kitchen

And the sauces she must skilfully render

Which is quite ironic really when you hear

The way the chef pronounces Brenda

We could see a group of hippies drowning

I said “we should try to save them if we can”

My wife was thoughtful for a moment before

She replied “No I think they’re too far out man”

Jack be Nimble,

Jack be quick,

But please don’t play

With your candle stick