ONE OF LIFE’S UNIVERSAL TRUTHS

 

One of life’s universal truths

Is not really much of a surprise

But behind every great man

There’s a woman rolling her eyes

THE WAITRESS ASKED “DO YOU HAVE

 

The waitress asked “Do you have

Any questions about the menu?”

My brother-in-law replied

“Is this font courier new?”

THERE IS A SIMPLE TRUTH IN LIFE

 

There is a simple truth in life

And it’s an honest admission

It is much easier to apologize

Than it is to ask permission

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 354

Bye, baby Bunting,

Daddy’s gone a-hunting,

Well, he’s gone to the meat counter

At the local Sainsbury’s

BURNS NIGHT SUPPER

 

With Haggis, Tatties and Nips

The Scots celebrate Burns night

They pipe it in with Bagpipes

And that’s really not right

What the hell is wrong with them

I thought they actually liked him

IN THE BURNS NIGHT RAFFLE

 

In the Burns Night Raffle, first prize

Was very highly sought after

For it allowed the winner to pass

On the haggis at the Burns Night Supper

ARE YOU WEARING A CRUCIFIX?

 

Are you wearing a crucifix?

Is it God’s grace you are appeasing?

Is it a symbol of your devotion?

Or is it just aesthetically pleasing

Are you a good Christian girl?

Or are you taunting and teasing

Well by that look in your eye

I think you’re up for a squeezing