GARDENING RULE

 

If you can’t tell the difference

Between a plant and weed

Then learn by pulling one up

That’s the best way to proceed

And if it comes out quite easily

Then the other one is the weed

SHEER EXTRAVAGANCE

 

A husband pays five hundred pounds

To get his wife a sheer negligée

So, she thought she should pose for him

As it was a lot of money to pay

But decided to pretend to wear the item

And then next day get a refund on it

He looked on wide eyed and said

“For the price they could have ironed it”

THE MOST POPULAR NUDISTS

The most popular man in a nudist colony

Can carry 2 large coffees and twelve donuts

The most popular woman in a nudist colony

Is the one who can eat the last two donuts

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 348

 

Girls and boys, come out to play

The moon doth shine as bright as day

They drink whatever is plentiful and cheap

And end up legless in the street

REVEREND FOGHORN LEGHORN

 

Reverend Foghorn Leghorn

Has done his reputation damage

When he was ejected from church

For using fowl language

WHINGING HOLIDAY MAKERS # 2

 

We had a terrible holiday

It was ruined by drunken pests

Our tour operator should have

Warned us of noisy unruly guests

WHY DID THE FUGITIVE CROSS THE ROAD?

 

Why did the fugitive cross the road?

Well not just to get to the other side

The reason he wanted to cross over

Was so he could find somewhere to hide