My mum gave me the sex talk
And during it she told
me what to do
“You don’t have to put
anything
In your mouth that you
don’t want to”
Well, I thought about
it for a while
And then I stopped
eating tofu
Monday, 10 October 2022
MY MUM GAVE ME THE SEX TALK
Sunday, 9 October 2022
21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 256
We didn't hear the Easter bunny
Hopping down the hall;
He hopped so very
quietly,
He made no noise at
all!
So, we rigged up a trip
wire
ARE YOU WEARING FRUIT?
Are you wearing fruit?
It doesn’t really suit
And there is a lesson
In there though my son
Never let 3 year old
Joe?
Hold a ripe tomato
ARE YOU WEARING A HALLOWEEN TOP?
Are you wearing a Halloween Top?
Well, I very much like
what I see
Because there isn’t
very much of it
I USED TO START AN AWFUL LOT OF FIGHTS
I used to start an awful lot of fights
When I was at school,
I was a bully
But I had attention deficit
disorder
WAS ANDREW MITCHELL RIGHT?
Was Andrew Mitchell right?
Are policemen a bit
plebby,
According to a survey
It would appear they
enjoy Typhoo tea,
Because of the adverts
Most of them live in
new-build semis
Furnished by DFS or
IKEA
They watch The One
Show
And think it’s the
news
Their diet consists of
Pot Noodles
Cook in sauces or
instant mash
They shop from the
catalogues
Their favourite comedian
is Jim Davidson
Entertainment is a
60-inch telly
Mr Policeman drinks
Heineken
While his partner favours
Lambrini
And despite the Andrew
Mitchell libel case
They will still vote
Conservative
Because they think
Mitchel’s a Tory
And they don’t realise
it’s the same thing
DRAGONS PERFORM AEROBATICS
Dragons perform aerobatics
In the azure sky
Griffons are asked to
join in
But won’t even try
Dodo’s dance a perfect
Flightless jig
The bald eagle appears
Wearing a wig
Mermaids do aqua
ballet
On a flat sea of glass
Unicorns canter through
Scented meadow grass
That’s the end of my
Nonsense I fear
If you want anymore
Try Edward Lear
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