YOU TOLD ME YOU’D SPEND YOUR WHOLE LIFE

 

“You told me you’d spend your whole life

Trying to make me proud to be your wife”

She said to him “So what went wrong?”

He replied “I didn’t know you’d live so long”

I FIND SURVEYS QUITE SURPRISING

 

I find surveys quite surprising

This result even surprised my cousin

Twelve out of thirteen people

Have never heard of a baker’s dozen

MY BROTHER HAS A WANDERING EYE

 

My brother has a wandering eye

He’s been that way since birth

Not surprisingly I suppose

He now lives in Letchworth

I WAS VITAL AND VIGOROUS

 

When I was young

I was vital and vigorous

But I was a stickler for rules

Strict and rigorous

But life passes in a flash

Life’s moments are the shortest

Because you go from

Rigorous to rigor mortis

DIETING TIP # 5

 

If you drink a diet coke

With a chocolate bar

They cancel each other

Out, so there you are

No calories count

For the chocolate bar

MY SISTER HAS A TANNING SALON

 

My sister has a tanning salon

It is hers and her husband John’s

And at the national tanning awards

Their establishment won bronze

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 253

 

There once was a lady named Paddy Rabbitt

Who had a flat in Tower Bridge she did inhabit

But no one would believe it

Not a living soul would have it

That a flat in Tower Bridge housed Paddy Rabbitt

 

For StanTheMan