MY WIFE WAS BEING A DRAMA QUEEN

My wife was being a drama queen and said

"I feel like jumping in front of a bus

And you don’t help” So I sent her a timetable

And God did she ever make a fuss

I KNOW THAT YOU’RE REALLY OLD

 

I know that you’re really old

But your aging appears static

Which means you must have

A portrait hanging in the attic

ONE POTATO TWO POTATO

Roast potato

New potato

Boiled potato

Sure

Mashed potato

Waffled potato

Baked potato

More

Wedges with dips

Hash browns and Chips

You should eat your fill

Of the Dublin mixed grill

ROSES ARE RED

Roses are red

Apples are fruity

Show us your tatt

I bet it’s a beauty.

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 236

 

To market, to market, a gallop a trot,

To buy some meat to put in the pot;

Make sure its meat don’t let them con you

I won’t be impressed if you come home with tofu

ARE YOU WEARING THAT FACE FOR A BET?

 

Are you wearing that face for a bet?

Cheer up let’s have a ball

Come on just one little smile

Start with something quite small

Great you have no sense of humor

So probably no sense at all

MY GRANDDAD WAS WONDERFUL

 My Granddad was wonderful

He always smiled and never frowned

He’d always have a treat for me

He was Father Christmas all year round